The last month or so have been up and down, well mainly ups, aside from this constant feeling on wanting to pack everything in and somehow live a life which seems pointless at the best of times. So I have decided to stick with university, even though it can get tedious. The reason fro wanting to leave was down to the stress of doing the same work I have already done for two years, but with a heafty price tag, £4,000.

There are times where I am saying to myself, 'yeah i'm on it', yep thanks Andre. But then theres times when something may happen, like I'll get a shit picture of have a shit day and it really discourages me from fulfulling any kind of job involving photography. I know that even the best photographs produce shit pictures, so i'm trying not to be so hard on myself.

In my class there isn't really much competition, from what I've seen. though there have been one or two good pieces of work I have seen. One from a boy who resembles Shander, yep... A man boy muscule nut, I cringe when I see him and when he talks to certain people, I can already see people (including myself) commenting on his actions, can I really spend three years wtih such a character?

The other student I have seen, seem to be so 'posh', you can tell when someone isn't from London, just by how they carry themselves, there seem to be a fair few hot girls, though come on it's me so lets not even mention any kind of physical relationships. People seem to be arlright though, there are one or two people who I wouldn't give the time too, due them judging me before I even told them my name. Cunts is the word!

Personally things are good, there are times where I feel like being celibate, where the effort and the embaressment of a physical relationship make me wonder, why do I want to do this? But then theres that part of lust that makes me think, 'Yeah, lets do this!' Obviously theres the non-physical connection which I like, obviously, but then again the thought of getting close to someone makes me less attracted to speaking to them, I don't know if that sound strange. Shit I mean women are beautiful and all but do I really want to put them through that? HAHA, no... I guess I am saying to much, it's been so long since I actually wrote down whats going on in my head. Can you see why?

With University work, I am sort of behind but only down to my own fault and not gaining enough insperation the either sit down and do work or go out and photograph the world. But I have to start getting my work done on the day, rather than leaving it to go skating, go out or play games. I have a five month summer holiday to do all of this in. So from tomorrow, being friday, I will do work in the afternoon before going to my seminar at 2.30pm.

I really need to write blogs more often, as I always have soemthing to share, even if you don't like it.

Some new things about me: I adore classical music, Curb Your Entusiasm is amazing, X files series 6, I've been wearing too much black, I am putting on weight because I have been eating too much fast food ( I will stop now!), I feeling even more love for London, do I want to leave?

any spelling mistakes, I was doing this fast, also I am a bad speller, thats public schools for you.