Well, for those of you who think I might be able to write something worth reading, but who have wondered when I plan to get around to it, I’m offering something a little different tonight. I’m going to talk in this very blog about the single most fascinating topic ever!     .....   ME! Yeah, you heard it right. I don’t easily let go of bits about myself, but I’ve realized that with the ratings slipping and ad revenues down, I just can’t afford not to delve into some tawdriness. In fact I may need to delve there with some regularity. I want people to think of me like Fox TV: there’ll be blood, guts, sex, and drama. And oh yeah, I’ll still throw in some drugs and rock-n-roll when I can.

Ya see?  Here’s the thing. While I like to argue in the abstract, to provide objective analysis, to utter prufundities, and even to pontificate on economics (ha, that’s really true), and yes, while I do have an immense brain that barely fits in my skull, it turns out that it just doesn’t matter one whit to anyone. They want the dirt, the juicy sexy amazing – wait a minute, are we talking about MY life?

Okay, back up.  I was reading in some marketing industry magazine about how no one had predicted that people would actually pay $2.50 to download a crappy sounding ringtone for their phone. That industry grew up almost by accident. And I said, “Well, no effin’ way I would pay for that.” Phone features, I have found, are largely unrewarding and even seem to drain from our lives more than they put in. Then I read how the marketing industry was again a bunch of awkward bystanders as young bright geeks fashioned the social networking industry out of thin air. And the article said (I paraphrase), “Who would have thought that people would spend hours revealing the details of their sordid little lives to complete strangers on the Internet?” My knee jerk was, “Well, not me. I’m not just another marketing statistic.” Or something like that. But here’s the thing. Why not?

No really (really), here’s the real point. I’ve been READING a lot of blogs. And I’ve learned what I like to see. The dirt?   Naw, not really. But I do like blogs where the writer shows me how their own story made them a little more aware. Or even how their story has put them in search of an answer. Sometimes those still-searching blogs are the best. Then there are those who fictionalize an honest and brave story that carries home its point.  I'm beginning to realize that I need a little more honesty and a little less caution.  Contrary to what anyone may tell us, honesty sells.  As a writer I have done all that, at one time or another, and in some way, so what am I waiting for here on MySpace? 

Nothing. Just Kate (a week or so ago – hey I didn’t say I’d be punctual) developed a little Questionnaire that we could all answer in our own blogs if we wanted. Here are my responses to her questions. Her blog is HERE.

1. Most of us feel misunderstood on some level. What part of you do you most want people to understand and SEE?

I am too many people, an eclectic multiple personality. Depending on how someone knows me, I am usually reduced to the nearest persona that fits. As a political centrist, people mistakenly assume I haven’t made up my mind. Left-leaners see me on the right and right-leaners see me on the left. And in the process they pay me a great compliment, even if it means I'm somewhat misunderstood. As a person who likes to be liked and who prefers to find common ground, people mistake me for weak, or worse still, unprincipled. As an intellectual people assume my head is in the clouds, and as a middle-class Joe, people assume I'm unambitious. Or worse they'll think that I’ll gratefully fall into conversations on football and lawn maintenance. As someone who makes an acerbic remark such as the previous one, people assume that I don’t like sports, yard work, or the coolest lawn mowers. But I’ve coached youth league football; I love working outside, and when it comes to lawn mowers - while I wouldn’t waste a Saturday night comparing features with a buddy - I do want THE very coolest one. And even though I like the coolest gadgets, I only buy things I need and I never things buy for status. As a technologist, I find that business and creative people assume my perspective is narrow and nerdish. Musicians regard me as an engineer and engineers regard me as a musician. When I'm being a businessman, my technology skills often get trivialized. Also when I'm involved in business matters, artists view me warily, which is almost funny.

It is only as an artist that I think people tend to see me most clearly and most fully. The people who know me in this persona can integrate some of that other stuff back in to see the complete me. And it is as an artist that I see myself most clearly too.

2. Have you ever felt truly understood by anyone? If so, who? If not, why do you think that is?

I feel that there have been many, many moments in my life when I was with some one and I said or did something or they said or did something that just rang like a bell and vibrated right through both (all) of us. In those times and in those ways I was understood, and generally, I might add it meant that "I" too understood someone else. Now that may not entirely answer the question. Has anyone completely understood me in any lasting sense? That's a lot harder to answer, because after-all, we are all changing constantly. Understanding someone is a dynamic process, not a static one.

My late ex wife understood me very, very well, but not in every way; and those few missing connections were very big things. Still I must say that since she is gone from this world, I am less understood. My friend Bernie (we’ll call him) also understands me very, very well, but because of our divergent lives he really doesn’t know me that well any more. More information would probably help him understand me as well as anyone could. I have another friend who due to circumstances probably does know me better than any other person, but he’s too self-absorbed to really see to the bottom of anyone else. Then there are a few women who stay in touch with me as friends. Although important to me, these are mostly phone relationships, and I must say, complete understanding under the circumstances is just not possible. So long story short is “no,” I don’t think anyone has truly understood every aspect of me. Why not? Because I’m a complicated unique person and the people to whom I’m attracted are complicated unique people. There’s a lot of ground to cover.

3. Do you follow the rules or break them? Do you play it safe or take risks? Explain.

I take risks with the big things and play it safe on the little day to day things. I know that sounds almost like a reverse of common sense, but it is my character. My perfectionism makes me paint within the lines on all of the ordinary aspects of life (a fairly unproductive habit, I might add). But my almost desperate sense of adventure makes the idea of living like others and following the normal life pattern almost impossible. “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature.” ~Helen Keller

4. I believe in living in the moment, but I also think it's good to have a plan, a general direction. Where do you hope to be in five years time?

I’ll be an author of fiction books with a limited syndication column on politics and lifestyle. I’ll be living somewhere or in some way that I can experience the grandeur of nature fairly frequently. Even if I fail at everything, I will not be tied to an insane work routine to make money and buy things.

I would be interested to know what you think makes for a good blog.

I've warned everybody now.  There will be blogs.