You ever wonder why things happen in life? Why one thing can change everything. And it leaves people wondering WTF? I dont know about everyone else, but I hate that
WTF feeling. Maybe its because I think to much, dont know, but the WHF feeling will stay with me for days sometimes longer. Of couse its always accompanies anxiety attacks. For some reason death creates major anxiety attacks for me. When people I know die or get killed long before their lives are really over. It reminds me how uncertain life is. I can deal with the fact that people grow old and die, That is the natural order of life. I dont like the idea that someday I will cease to exsist, And I know that when its my time I will fight it every step of the way, even though I know I will lose that fight.

There have been so many deaths in the area I live in. So many that have died long before their lives were truely over. Some that I have known in passing, some that use to be neighbors, some that have been a friend at one point in time or another. Over the last 5 years there have been more young deaths than I had ever seen in my life.