ok.

i got off work the other night at about 11, and went home. i went to sleep. and then i woke up at 4am to the sound of a car alarm going off. and it kept going off and going off. so i got on my computer, but couldn't get on line because the gym's internet across the street that i use wasn't working. so i played solitaire for and hour until this guy finally got the alarm to go off. yes, and hour. and i went back to sleep. and then i woke up and remembered possibly the only dream i've had since the 1990s. it went like this:

i woke up in my bed in my apartment, but everything was trashed and i started to look about and my stereo was destroyed and my computer was destroyed and my piano had been punched with a sledge hammer all over and my closets and cabinets were all over the place and i thought - i've been robbed - which is the wrong thing to think because they hadn't taken anything, just destroyed it. so i went out in the hall to call the cops - which is also the wrong thing, cause there's no phone in the hall - no reason to go out there except expository (i love that the dramatic structure of my dreams is clunky - i should probably stop writing) and when i got out there there were all these people in the hall with computers and cords running everywhere like some nasa control room and someone said "this one's awake" and some nice looking man came over to me and said some nice things of which i don't remember. and then he said we're sorry we had to do this. and i said so it wasn't just a coincidence about the car alarm. and he said no. and then he said we paid you well, we can't give you more than what your stuff was worth, but we paid you well. which doesn't make any sense because how can he pay me "well" if he can't give me any more than my stuff is worth. and i think it was because i was reading an article about the new imminent domain laws that passed in some states that says that the government can take your home if they plan to build on it - they can just decide what it's worth and give you a check and make you leave, which is total bullshit. so the guy gave me an envelope and said he was sorry again, and i said can i stay here though? cause i don't have any friends in memphis and i don't have anywhere to go. and he said maybe for a night or two but i have to leave. and i said ok. and then i said i had to go get breakfast. and so i started to leave and noticed that my building wasn't a building anymore but a mall. they were converting the whole thing to a mall, and like some guys apartment was already a bath and body works. and there were all sorts of other stores everywhere. so i stopped in a starbucks and got a coffee and opened my envelope in which was a check for $4600 and i thought, sweet, i've got $4600. then i thought, wait a minute, that's bullshit, cause my stuff - all of it - is worth way more than that - i've got hundreds of books and an electric piano and a computer and a stereo and all sorts of shit and i needed more money, plus i had to move into a new place and everything, and i had to do it soon cause i had to be at work at ten, so i got up to go look for a lawyer, but then i remembered that it was the government who did this so instead i went to find a bar.

memphis has turned my whole life into a kafka novel.

will i ever laugh again??