Princess Lay 'er Gwenda and the rebellion forces have retreated to the dark side of planet Endor after the imperial storm troopers morning raid of planet FIRE situated in the Vauxhalle system.  We barely escaped with our lives but being resourceful the farce was on our side and now in our dishevelled state we have befriended some ewoks and are regrouping so we can reclaim our planet which we hope to do on thursday with our night relaunch of rudeboys and gravity on thursday night and friday morning on the solstice of the 24th May.  I will be flying out to gran canaria for 10 days from friday to seek jedi master Yoda's advice in spiritual rejuvination as my brother luke is no good in the sheets and Hans is all hands and is better off Solo, the dirty wookie whacker.  My buns are sore and my lips are chapped as light sabre's  make very unsavoury chafeing sex toys until the next time may the force be with you.  I like a bit of force and like being graped!  It's similar to rape but there's a bunch of them.  Must dash as Obi wan kenobi has just been struck down by daddy fannykins daft Vader and we are just about to launch an attack to gain tranny liberation from Deaf Tart so see's ya next LATER star whores.  X

My unfortunate evacuation on the monsoon planet Endor, the moisture is playing havoc with my warped wooden leg!

Princesses need to drink even in desperate measures!

Still the Ewoks are very hospitable and are very good fighters for the cause of the just rebellion.

So see all you scene rebublic when our forces re-group and I make my triumphant return from Yoda and his ancient wisdoms before i depart you can still see me @ Popcornicopia @ Heaven constellation in the Charing cross sector on monday and also @ Trannyshack @ Soho revue bar in the deep environs of Walkers Court in the Soho cluster.  Live long and prosper,  Shit wrong franchise?