Friday

After spendin a bit of time with Lady Wolf, then watchin a little wrestling (EWF) it was adventure time. Me, Tino, Richy, Ross and Toma took a spin in my new beastin wheels, my Astra Club. We headed for the campsies, keeping in mind this was at 11pm and it was pitch black. So we put on the '28 Days Later' soundtrack while driving through the creepy wee roads in the hills, we're all pantn it from the thought of somethin standin in the middle of the road around the next bend with a blade and a big hairy hand. Ross thinkin he's funny, puts his hand out the back window and smacks my window, neadless to say there was a funny smell shortly after.
    We found a wee, silent, scary ghost town and decided to take a tinkle then a walk. Ross got his fright from a big dag in a front porch, he actually screamed! A few meters down the road we heard a river, Toma went to investigate, that was his mistake. I threw a stone high into the tree nearest to him, when it hit, Toma's reaction resembled Billy Connolly's joke about the moving walkway at the airport. His elbows came up above his head as the air left his body completly. It took him a short while to recover. Tino and Richard never really got theirs, although Richy bricked it when I opened the car door from a distance. Must be the modern technology. Other than a deer bouncing off a fence and a little hedgehogg singing 'King of the road', nothing much more happened.

Saturday

Lady wolf's suprise 20th birthday party one night early. It was a grand night, she was rather suprised. In attendance we had myself, Richard, Tino, Ross, Tam, Red, Alex, Betty, aunty Rena, Lady Wolf, Diane, Nicola, Gran and Granda, Ashley, Pam, Laura, Brian....Sorry if I missed anyone out, after all I was mangled. Everyone ot drunk, but not as much as me lady. I went to bed and shortly after me Lady was poured onto me in bed, and half an hour later I heard a loud thump. Turned round and she was on the floor still out cold. I tried to help her up but dead people are suprisingly heavy. She managed to answer me when I asked if she needed to spew. I dragged her to the toilet, dunked her in the pan, went downstairs to inform the elders. Diane came down soon after to tell me Irena needs my help, I ran up and it was a scary sight. My wee burd was screamin in pain, falling in and out of consciousness, and crying the house down. I was terrified. nobody knew what to do, after 4 or 5 phone calls the ambulance came and took her to the hospital. They didn't speed up until the bitch of a medic in the back found a lump on her head. Me and Alex werein the ambulance with her, all the way there the lady was in the same condition. In the hosital they knocked her out, gave her a heavy dose of morphene (which was the only funny bit throughout the drama) and kept her in to keep an eye on her. She got out Sunday afternoon and is still recovering. I was worried sick about her, I also thought I'd be taking care of a vegetable the rest of my life... not a real one.

Thant's All Folks