Hmmm... I am not sure about this Dee.  I am gay.  I am confident enough to identify as homosexual, and the thought of sexual acts with females does - to an extent - make my tummy turn.  I am not comfortable talking about it, and definately not comfortable looking at either still shot images or video of females with less then 'average' clothing.

I agree with you on the point that "flamers" should be either smacked back into reality or at least hidden away.  I do not understand why they are the way they are, and I do not ever think I will understad/appriciate where they are coming from - One friend of mine is totally straight acting (yes, and gay) but when he is on Oxford Street [Sydney's gay strip], he is very much a changed man.  Out comes the glitter, the hair gel, the tight t-shirts, and even the limp wrist.  Go figure.

I am guessing that the notion of campness or "flamers" is a chance for egotistical persons to be noticed.  To stand out, and in a community where everyone seems to want a little attention maybe this is their only way to stand out -- but please do not think that "everyone is somewhere in-between", because I know I am not.

ur writing is as rippin as ur pic!  i bet ur going to be a x researcher.

Vance

I really think you are on to somthing..Keep up the great work.

The2boyzz

You definitely have keen insight in these areas.  I believe you should develop these theories and seek a publication outlet.  Social changes are occuring so quickly that the standard models are falling by the wayside.  Someone with your perspective and communication skills could provide valuable insight and even publish these notions.

Keep those insights coming...  its a refreshing change of pace for myspace.

I can see where you're coming from.  In my own personal experience growing up, there were pockets of bigotry in high schoo, and practically nonexistant in college.  I have a lot of male friends who are "straight, but like to fool around."  When I discovered  "Jackin World,"  www.jackinworld.com,  I got a lot of insight into that grey area.  I had my first experience when I was in the 8th grade with male classmate who was and is straight.  He's the first person to say he was straight, but messing around with his straight friends was a wild experience and mostly a sign of deep friendship and loyalty.  Also they never ever talked about it outside their inner circle of friends.  In college, lots of guys and girls were experimenting with their own sexuality.  I think the reason for that is the liberation that goes with leaving your nest and home town where you could get "discovered"  or  "outed" to the condemnation of all your people.  Some of the Jackin World accounts from straight guys tell of the "guys" carrying this behavior into adult life and even into their marriage.  With or without the wife's knowledge and consent, they got together at specified times for a "boys night" where they would watch porn and masturbate each other.  I guess labeling is a sign of other people's insecurity and obsession with everything being neatly in its box.

>>You might have noticed, as I have, the steadily growing number of people who don't identify as being either "straight" or "gay", and put down "not sure" as their sexual orientation.

Personally, I don't find this as a positive indication at all.  I've never felt that anyone is "not sure" for very long.  Most people know whether they prefer guys or girls, or decide they like both, relatively quickly.  If you ask me, "Not Sure" seems to be more like "Not Willing to Commit".  Maybe they don't want to be judged, or maybe they just aren't ready to come out of the closet.  But I'm sure that the "not sure" crowd knows whether they like boys or girls.  They're just not sure they want to state their preference publicly.  Which would lead anyone to think that they must be Gay, because Straight people are not afraid to admit they are straight.

Don't get me wrong.  Everyone is entitled to the label, or non-label of their choice.  But I don't think most people see "not sure" as anything but "Gay".  It bothers me when people aren't honest. If you don't want to tell the truth, just tell people, "it's none of your business".  It would be better to have another category.  "Gay", "Straight", "Bi", "Not Sure", and "None of Your Business". 

hi,

 i happen to be one of your penpals. you remember faeryangelbaby@yahoo.com right?

well thats me.

to me theres nothing wrong with bi, gay, or stright, but if most people dicided to be gay how will we reproduce.

i have no problem with gay people. i'm just hopeing that its just a fad. i don't think bi should be considered a fad.

this is just my opinion. i don't mean any thing wrong.

this is a really good blog. it reminds me of when i first starting realizing, "snap, i like guys.." and how i wouldnt have came out so early if it wasnt for myspace. but still, this is an EXTREMELY good blog.

And Faery, you said something like, "if most people are gay, then how would we reproduce?" Well, the world is OVERPOPULATED as it is, i dont think that you need to be worrying about that. And the probability that so many people were gay that this would actually be a problem, is slim to none.

ilike this blog man... and i agree with it all!

and i like daniel... internet does make people think about themselves more... "snap, i like guys!" was the best feeling <3

ur really know how to put things in perspective, i am bi, and i understand what u are sayin one day the line between gay and straight will just blurr. ur are so cool luv u

Ty,

Excellent observations and excellent presentation.  Now I feel like a college professor grading a research project, but your blog was extremely well thought out and supported with great resoning and observation.  I agree totally that there is a sexual rennaissance afoot.  It is strange the as far as politics and the government are concerned, people have more interference and meddling than ever before by the government in what has always been considered sacred ground, their bedrooms, and wherever else it is that they choose to express their sexual identities.  That is, while the political and lawmaking process has grown more conservative, the sexual revolution has slowed somewhat and is now transitioning, maybe going through a renewal period where kids come out earlier, those who straddle the fence so to speak feel more comfortable coming out of the "bi-closet", combined with the desire of some to keep parts of thier lives private in an ever growing nosey society, and a general weariness of the general public of the conservative backlash to the Clinton era of sexual freedom.  There is a growing backlash to the "neo-conservative" sexaul repression that was a huge pendulum swing that happened after the "sexaully joyous" and sexually open Clinton years.  That is, people are growing tired of being told who they can love, how, and when.  So I think much of the "bi" labeling thing is that people feel a little more security in the center, rather than being on the black or white side, and there is certainly a fear to commit to one side or the other. While it's much easier for someone who is either "gay" or "bi" to come out of the closet now, there are others who still struggle with oppressive parents and families and there is the opportunity to lessen the blow of a "gay" announcement with pronouncement of somehow being in-between the two labels.  Much of what you are witnessing, I think though, is really a backlash to the swinging of the pendulum to the far-right sexually.  In the 60's and 70's the sexual bottle was uncorked, in the 80's HIV really put the cork back in the bottle somewhat, but the freedom of the 60's and 70's constantly beckons to those who wish to strike out, and be sexually free again, and in the 90's there was a rennaissance of sort, and the cork came back out of the bottle again, only to be stuffed back in the bottle at the turn of the millenium.  So it's been six years of people being told that they are bad for being gay, or bad for being straight and having the desire to experiment, and I think people are beginnning to try to let the sexual "genie" back out of the bottle again, in spite of an over-dominating ultra conservative moral climate. One thing is for sure, whenever the genie is let out of the bottle, sexual progress is made that refuses to ever go back in the bottle with the genie.

verry well spoken

get back on that podium

people like you can change the world

and god no's we need a change

I think everyone is bisexual at some point in time if not in action at least in thought. For some reason "straight" men feel more threatened by this.

I also feel very sad that everyone can not just be who they are with those closest to them but I understand how it is easier to take the "judgement " of strangers.

Good post by the way.

Those are my thoughts exactly.  Go to the website,  "JackinWorld," www.jackinworld.com.  It's an eye opener.  If I could have read it when I was 13, I know I wouldn't have had to deal with my "Catholic Guilt."  It's a fact that boys mess around with each other.  I've noticed that it's mostly with straight guys.  It turns out to be a very secret and intimate adventure with you guy(s) you hang out with.  It's the ultimate sign of trust and bonding (don't mention "love" cuz that's gay).  The open gays were avoided in the scene, because the straight boys didn't want any "gayness" to rub off on them.  It all goes to the root of several Old Testiment references of condemning "Men Laying together with men."  WWJD? is the saying now -- "What Would Jesus Do?"  Well He didn't say anything.  So there!  So-called "Christians" who live in the Old Testiment, using the Bible like a recipe book make me question whether they're Christian, or just hypocrites.

You wrote this blog almost a year to the day of this message back. I stumbled across it looking at fine young (and may I say courageous) men of this era in time.

I met my future wife when I was 6, she was 5. I was first grade, she was kindergarten. This was in 1960.

Through the years, I cared about her and her alone. We went through school together, through puberty, through family weddings and funerals, and we never dated anyone else, never broke up, never had sex with anyone else. I graduated from h.s. in '72, she in '73. We were married, went to college, had a son in '76.  She died in 1981. She was 27. She had breast cancer and had never smoked a day in her life. She was mine for 21 years.

I came out (to myself) in '82. I became friends with other gay guys, went to bars, had random overnight sleepovers. This was with a son who was 5 when his mother died. He never knew or understood who my male friends were, but he also made me vow to never marry again.

When he was 16, he was a high school star athlete, football player, hockey player, baseball player, with a gorgeous girlfriend whom he adored. Then one night he was tackled by an opposing player on the football field. The boy who sacked him was 17, blond, built, stunning...and that was 15 years ago and they are still together with a house bigger than mine, cars better than mine, and a life filled with wonderful friends. They go to church on Sundays and do not smoke, drink, or do drugs. And I am so proud of both of them.

When my son came out to me at 16, I came out to him at the same time. He and Mike, (whose parents kicked him out so he came and lived with me and my son) have treated me like an older brother...and I am 52 now. I have never remarried, but you know, I cannot find a guy who will love me and care for me as much as my wife did, or as my son and his partner do.

I believe that every person, with 1 being "straight" and 10 being "gay", is between a 2 and 9..and the numbers are both getting closer to that 5 everyday from both ends. 

You are SO VERY right about the gray area...I just wish I had been born 30 years later so I could be 22 again and find that special guy.....wait, no I don't either. I have a very special son and son-in-law that I would not have had I been born 30 years later.......