What the fuck is going on humans,

So the first show in Spokane was badass, we woke up that morning and headed out to Seattle, a short 4 hour jaunt across the beautiful state of Washington. Everyone was well rested and showered and smelled like fucking rainbows and bunnies. Rad! Its gonna be fun tonight, i can feel it.

We pull up to the venue and its totally bitchin, we got to soundcheck and everything sounds really cool. We still haven't added our cover into the set...but we practiced it a few times and it sounds killer.

The first band, THE DELUSIONALS fucking KILLED it. So so rad. I haven't seen an actual punk band in a long time that I've been really stoked on, but these guys were the shit. They reminded me of a young circle jerks or adolescents, and they covered a reagan youth song. Way cool. All the punks were out for TSOL in Seattle, young and old, this shit was gonna be great!

We take the stage and immediately this kid starts yelling at us "play some hardcore!!!" Its gonna be one of those nights! :)

So we start playing, and the sound is killer, everyones holding it down real good. This punk kid starts calling me a faggot and all this shit. Wow! Its like I'm at a football game! But this kid has peace punk patches all over his pants and the "I'm 18 and still live with mom but I'm a super political hardcore cider punk until I actually have to get a job because I don't want to live in moms basement" thing going on. Sweet! these kids rule!

People are dancing and fucking it up, including the guy we'll call buttflap king. Buttflap king keeps at it and starts calling me Good Charlotte even! Wow! This kid did his homework for sure! The tension started to mount as some of his friends started to join in heckling us, but keep in mind they're doing some kind of wierd square dance with each other in the pit. It was really wierd. All of this shit talking is making us sound great. This is what punk shows are about to me. You never know whats gonna happen next. Am i gonna kick the kid in the throat? Are his friends gonna try and mob the stage? Well, no one could have predicted the awesomeness that followed!

About halfway through the set, buttflap king tried to spit on me. Now I'm not some prissy motherfucker that gets cracked when I get spit on. Its a damn punk show, you might get spit on, bled on or puked on if its a good one. But when people spit on you because theyre pissed? No way jose. So I told the kid I would meet him and all of his little cronies outside after our set if they had a problem. I'd even let them fight 2 on one because I'm that kind of a nice guy. Mind you I hate fighting. Its the most ignorant thing in the universe. But getting spit on by this douche made me pissed.

Enter someone we will call Mohawk warrior. This guy was like 6 foot 7, with a foot long bright blue mohawk, huge ass sideburns, and a fucking warrior. He owned the pit all night, and was drunk as fuck, eating everybody alive with his big ass boots and studded body armor. Buttflap king keeps calling me a faggot and telling me to kill myself, so we play our slowest song for him, our kind of ballad, Bloodlove. NOTHING could prepare me for this shit...

As buttflap king was ranting red faced that im a faggot, Mohawk warrior BENDS buttflap king over the front of the stage, prison style, and DRY HUMPED the shit out of him! Now this wasn't 16 year old I'm on my first date dry humping. This was all out gnarly prison BALLING. Mohawk warrior grabbed buttflap king with both hands and just rammed his ass hard into the stage with his pelvis, over and over again!! God I wish moments like these were videotaped! Oh the irony! I loved every single second of it! Buttflap king had no choice but to submit to Mohawk warrior. Mohawk warrior had about 100 pounds, a foot in height, and a case of beer on the buttflap king. Buttflap king took it like a champ and kept calling me a faggot. Some things you buy with mastercard...but some are just...priceless.

We finished our set, it was rad as shit, and I went outside to meet buttflap king and his friends right after we hit the last note. I was outside while my guitar was still ringing with feedback. Fueled by the adrenaline from the show, I was pumped to either get beat up, or fuck these kids up. I paced around for about 20 minutes to no avail. I guess they didnt want to fight. Better off. I went back inside and packed my gear, then went back outside for a good hour, wondering if the buttflap army would come. No dice, no fight. Fighting is dumb, people! :) But standing up for yourself is always a must, i think. Fuck bullies!!

Last note on buttflap king...I got into punk rock to get away from dudes like this. Bullies suck and punk rock was a place to get away from that, a collective of misfits and outsiders that were united by common or not so common beliefs, music, politics, and alcohol. Its shit like this that ruins punk for me, and ruins scenes. Kids like buttflap king kill punk dead and ruin it for everybody. My vote is for unity and progress, not ignorance and decline. Enough said.

A friend of mine, Amy, put us up for the night at her pad. Her and her husband were so rad and hospitable. Shane and I stayed up drinking vodka out of a plastic bottle and talking about god knows what. We were up til at least 4 though before we all claimed our spots on the floor. Good times!! :)

We took our time in the morning as our next show in Portland was only 2 hours away. Amy has a beautiful 1 year old daughter that entertained us all with her pretty smile. She made me miss my family tremendously, but it was nice to be around a little one and hear the innocence of a babys laugh. A perfect way to start the day.

Now we're in Portland at the Satyricon. Fuck yeah Portland. Fuck yeah.

CRAIG