Hello humans!
We played Portland, OR at the Satyricon on friday night and it was probably only like our best show ever. We got to Portland at about 6, loaded in all our shit, and kicked it near the club for the rest of the night. Ron from TSOL and I shot the shit while stringing our guitars, he's a walking library about vintage guitars. Soundcheck went really good, it was gonna be a mean ass night!
There's no backstage at the Satyricon, so we kicked it in our own personal private and mobile luxury backstage...our van. People started to pile into the club and fill the sidewalks, anxious to shed the work week and provide a soundtrack to their debaucherous weekend. Here's how we kick it freestyle
This is who's playing:
As i cruised around I saw this amazing girl that was waiting to get into our show. I was lucky enough to get this picture. I wish her luck in her quest. This is pretty much the best picture I've ever seen. You rule, brains girl!
It was right round this time that we saw these amazing transexuals walk down the street. These dudes were at least 6'6" each, and had on the tightest mini dresses youve ever seen. Sam debates that one of them just had a short slip on. Either way, these fellas were dressed to kill. It made us think about the NEW YORK DOLLS, and how fucking crazy they were. Even in the halfway liberated 2000's, its still pretty counter culture to be a drag queen. But in the 70's? And play a form of delusional maniacal early punk rock and roll? THE DOLLS were the absolute shit. R.I.P. Mr Thunders. For those of you that don't know, we're huge DOLLS fans, but Shane is a Johnny Thunders and NEW YORK DOLLS freaaak. He knows everything about them, has all the live bootlegs, documentaries...its pretty rad.
The first two bands kicked ass, a band called 800 Octane was right before us. My old band THE FORGOTTEN played with them in Portland years ago, so it was cool to hear some familiar sounds.
This is John at merchland. He now has the name New York, because thats where he lives. Its the most retarded nickname ever and I love it and refuse to call him anything else. Bobby is on the left, he's with TSOL and a way solid guy, I know him form Warped. We've got a kick ass crew of people out here.
We took the stage and it was ruling. We've never played Portland before, and halfway through the first song, the pit just opened the fuck up and was a mass of churning bodies. Fuck yeah Portland, make us work for this one. The entire set was filled with energy, people making out in front of the stage, and slam dancing. So so much fun. During our last song, we even had some kid climb the side of the stage in a fury, and he bolted right off the monitors, stage diving onto the crowd like a fucking bullet. Perfect way to end our set. Portland? WE FUCKING LOVE YOU. And this was only the beginning of the night. Here's some pics, courtesy of Callan Crossland. thanks Callan!
Shane and I went to get some drinks at the bar, and the bar is packed with Portlands finest, all the locals are out, dressed to the nines for TSOL. To our surprise a gentleman bought us a few drinks before we had the chance to order. Nice. By the time TSOL played, I think everybody was getting a little saucey. I had a little buzz creeping up my spine and it felt excellent. I don't really drink that often, but when I do...its fucking ON. I worked my way up to the front of the club, slithering through the sweaty bodies and leather jackets, and into the pit. I said hi to Jack from the pit and let myself be bounced around like a ping pong ball for a minute and then went around the side of the stage and took a seat on my tackle box. I had perfect timing as Jack came and sat down next to me, taking a break while the guitar player, Ron Emory, sang the next song. Jack has worn a big fucking black coat when playing with TSOL, probably since their incarnation, I would imagine. He says to me " its fucking HOT in here." I replied with " yeah man, I don't know how you do it in that jacket." With his shit eating grin and glint in his eye he says " yeah im way too fat and old for this shit." hahaha I love this guy. I asked him if he would play 80 TIMES, one of most favorite TSOL songs. He said they sure would. A couple songs went by and I wasn't sure if he remembered, or if he was just humoring me. And then like the gentleman that he is, he thanked MERCY KILLERS for playing, and threw the song out to us. Ron ripped into the opening riff and I had to throw myself off the stage. I had no choice. I went down like a sack of rocks hehehe, a few bodies broke my fall, but it looked rouuuugh, like i just smacked onto the floor. Proud of myself that I wasnt hurt, I jumped straight back up and ran around in a circle flailing my fists to 80 times until I was out of breath. Fuck yeah TSOL, thanks for that one guys.
What happened after this was truly amazing. This kid Spencer came out to see us play, it was his first punk show ever. He was there before the show and walked with us to a burrito joint and showed us around portland a little bit. Anyways, its Spencers first punk show ever, and after i stage dived and was running around in the pit, i look up, and see little Spencer on the fucking stage about to jump off! He caught my eye and in that second there was a mutual "man, i won't let you eat shit" moment and he jumped. I totally caught him and tossed him about and it was rad as shit. Not only did MK pop his punk show cherry, I caught his ass on his first stage dive!! It was pretty fucking cool.
I find Shane again because I feel like we have some unfinished drinking to do. Once again, I don't really drink much anymore. But I like seeing Shane wasted, so encouraging him and enabling him and drinking with him, a little peer pressure, is so so much fun.
Our mission for the evening is to go to the tranny bar. Fortunately, every single one of us was down ad excited to go. We walked by the window to the place earlier and saw our amazonian transexuals working it. Before we could go though, we had to load our gear and wait fro TSOL to be finished, they use our backline of equipment. While we were waiting and chilling in our luxurious backstage (our van), Spencer popped by. We were polishing off a bottle of Jagermeister and insisted he must join us. He said his Dad was coming to pick him up, and he didnt want to be busted, but we told him it was okay. Like a champ, Spencer took a big ol chug and smiled. We gave him a piece of gum and I walked over to his Dad's car with him. I told his Dad that Spencer was a kick ass kid and he was a great Dad. His Dad was way cool. Nice.
So we pack up all the gear and all the crackheads and tweakers were starting to circle our van. No good. They were doing the whistles and setting up lookouts a few blocks away and shit. We had to move the van for sure. We pulled around the corner and parked in front of the tranny bar. Shane and Bizarro were already in there.
Bizarro is our drummer Jay. He and Shane grew up in the IE together, along with Travis ( Shane and I's drummer in +44, you know, Mr. Barker.) Shane has some kind of funny ass private humor with Jay that i don't quite get, and he calls Jay " Bizarro Barker " and " J rav," kind of like he's a wierd offshoot of Travis or something. I don't know, it's a Fontana thing I think, i just love calling him Bizarro cos its a funny ass name. He will be referred to from here on out for the rest of his life as BIZARRO.
So Bizarro and Shaney Baby are already in the tranny club, and Sampire and I roll up to go in too. The doorman says "No entrances past 2am, we close at 2:30." I'm heartbroken. It's 2:01am. I show him my phone and ask him if he can budge, I NEED to go in and hang out with the trannys and Bizarro and Shane. Cold as ice, he shuts me down. Asshole. Look at the good times I missed. Shane and Bizarro with a couple slices of heaven:
Ok, so I'm a total pile and am doing this diary a few days after the fact, so I've definitely forgotten some crucial details (maybe a good thing!). But one thing was for certain. Portland was so so much fun. For some reason I wanted to teen wolf the van, but instead here I am laying on the roof. I really have no idea whats going on here, except note the cookie in Shane's hand. Somehow this magical chocolate covered peanut butter cookie that someone's Mom made for us ended up going on quite an adventure!
Here is the cookie's first stop, Shane's shoulder! May it be noted Shane was passed out, for those of you that lack insight.
Wow! The cookie has some friends! Its party time chocolate peanut butter motherfuckers!! Lets hang out on Shane!
Hey wait a second! There's room for everyone in the van to party on Shane! Come on Mr Fairy Boot, Mrs Banana, and Mr Skateboard, you too pan of cookie goodness!
Awww you guyyyys! You cant get one over on ME! This is the stuff good times are made of. Shane is the best sport ever in life.
Somehow we made it to my friend Stacey and Tom's house. I think a totally sober and responsible Uncle Sam helped us navigate our shiny white pirate ship. Something else happened that was funny, then something else. Then we laughed. Then we passed out. Fuck yeah tour!! Thank you Portland, goodnight!
Stay tuned for Eugene, OR and Reno, NV. Word!
CRAIG