sooo im sitting here like i always do.. on the job sites but there is like nothing. I have been unemployed forever i had to sell my car to live which worked for a while but supporting 2 ppl is hard so now im broke and i aint got a car anymore and to top it off i the guy i loved so deeply is gone too he has some new lil whore sorry but he is. I wish i could just go back to my ex even though we have problems i wouldnt be so alone.. i just feel so empty inside ive really fucked up this time... i honestly dont know how much more i can do it... i havent been eating alot ne more bc i cant afford it and i spend my food stamp money on my parents so they dont tell me anything i dunno i hate living where i do i am not welcome here when i go to my other friends house im not welcome there either so im homeless it sucks.. i just want to escape i want to get hi do all the drugs i can find i really dont care anymore... im jobless car less and no hope i have tired to get a job but i guess im retarded or something i cant seem to get on..........I wish i could turn back time and make everything better with alex but that wont ever happen so im here rambling on i dont know i need something better in my life but i dont know what and i dont know what to do ill prob end up in the crazy hospital but whatever...my life is a mess i wish god would strike me down i dont want to be here ne more.......................bye for now