okay first take four deep breathes and remember people who dont really know you very well love brody donna and you we are all so proud of all of you what a stressful pregnancy you all had two on the outside and one inside all fighting for same out come remember most people that have a baby goes to the hospital have a baby and go home you guys didnt have any of this just because you have brody home the stress is still here but the stress is different but you now have what is called the regular normal stress of two becoming three doesnt any of this make any sense to you the stress is jumping off you words pow pow pow
 

i'm going to give the typical mom response. now i am assuming (making an ass of myself) that the opinion would be something considering brody, so if i am wrong you can skip the entire rest of my response because it won't make a lick of sense. for nine months (give or take) we carry the baby. whatever happens during that time directly effects the baby. and only we are the ones who have much direct influence on the baby. what we eat, if we get sick, what vitamins we take, how our blood pressure is, if we drink, take drugs, stress we have, etc and etc. so basically for nine months our world centers around this human being that we are growing, whether we are focusing on it or not 100% of the time. so then the baby is born. and for some reason, because the baby is outside of us, everyone else thinks they get an opinion. meanwhile we are still in this funky baby mode where we go, i'm sorry, i carried this baby for nine months... get the fuck away! now, while i type this... i know what you are saying. "but we are the fathers, we helped make the kid, we love the kid just as much, we should get some say." and you know, you're right. it's just, well, we're insane. girls are crazy. mommies are extra crazy. and our hormones make us crazier. most of us tend to relax over time though. so hopefully that's the case for you and you can both get into some sort of easier groove. it also doesn't help because yours was an extra special case where little brody had a hard time in the beginning, needed such specialized care, and mommy probably felt like she wasn't really being a mom because there wasn't a whole lot in the beginning she could do. us mommies are crazy people. we don't really like it when someone else tries to tell us that they somehow have a better or even different (and not meaning better) way of doing something for a baby we carried for nine months. and even i can step out of the box long enough to see that it's a "it was mine for nine months so i should get all the say complex" issue but even still i have a hard time letting go too. but it does get better as time moves on and as you both get settled more into your roles, least i think so.


i'm not trying to say stuff your opinions by the way. but i know i have a similar thought process when it comes to people giving me advice or opinions about my child. sometimes i take it, but most of the time i'm like "well i made him!". it's a somewhat childish response. but i'm just a protective mommy. i guess it doesn't help that i'm a single one either. sorry if my response is nothing that you are looking for.
::hugs::
 

~ Hey there my friend, I know it's been awhile, but yes kids DO change everything for both of you. The truth of it all is that as great as they are, kids are the only thing in your life that will always make you worry needlessly, imagine the worst in other people, etc. Having kids means finding a neutral ground with your partner, and no it doesn't mean just 'rolling over' - but I'm sure you're both have a lot of heightened emotions after everything you've been through already. It's not that it gets easier, you just learn to "pick your battles". Just think, Brody hasn't even hit Kindergarten. I know you two will be great parents, so relax, and take a little time for the two of you as well. It IS that important.
Much love and blessings to you both ~Ciao
 

hey ciao you dont know me and i dont know you but the first thing i thought of was when brody comes home from kindergarten and isnt first on line whats frosty going to do when brody comes home with a broken heart to most adults being first on line isnt a big deal but to most kids it can control their day because as adults we teach them that being first is the most important i taught my kids when you do you very best your are number one or first where it counts in your heart then a five year taught me something in kindergarten her teacher mention to me one day she was the only child who didnt stress or whine when they werent first in line i worked that information into a talk to make a long story short she told me whats the big deal we are all going to the same place within 20 to 30 seconds but she wanted to be first on her birthday because that was her special day so this five year remindered me to pick my battles picking you battles should be a key in life