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Ed O'Meara



Last Updated: 8/27/2008

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Gender: Male
Status: Swinger
Age: 28
Sign: Virgo

City: London
State: London and South East
Country: UK
Signup Date: 4/18/2006
Wednesday, August 27, 2008 
Sometimes I can be a sweaty person. I remember my flatmate once said to me: "Ed, you're sweaty. You stink. I think you should see a doctor."
To which I pointed out "Actually Miriam, sweating is a sign that the human body is at the peak of fitness".
She said "Yeah, but not when you're lying on the sofa eating crisps."
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I watched a House marathon. Tis great, but it's never very simple. Patient comes in: sniffles, headache, dizziness....flu? No way you shitting amateur, it's probably a rare kind of endocrinal diplflopia contracted from Cilla Black's spent wet wipes. In the same way that CSI has warped jury expectations of forensic evidence, House is fueling a whole new breed of over-elaborate sicknotes.

'Timmy can't do PE today because of a pain in his foot. We think it's AIDS. A test says it's not, but who tests the tests, yeah?'
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I walked the dog with my brother Tom. The dog lost his ball in some nettles and we were trying to extricate it. Then it occured to me that there is nothing more sinister than two smoking unemployed men (one in sports gear holding a near-empty plastic bag) shouting at a dog and kicking nettles. So we stopped.

My dog, a collie/labotomy patient cross, has a habit of trying to hump male dogs of the canus hugeus variety. He tried to bone a rottweiller against its will while the rottweiler looked increasingly pissed off about the whole thing. That's a bit like me wearing a dress and trying to mount a massive racist against his will. Our dog is called Barney, but I think we should rename him Deathwish.
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I was thinking about opening an after school club for young deliquent paving slabs.

Well, keeps them off the streets doesn't it?
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Some kids approached me the other day and said "We're gonna get Medieval on your arse". I wonder if violent minstrels would have said "We're gonna get contemporary on your arse".

I don't wonder really. Twas just a gag mechanism.
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11:15 PM
 
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