Gender: Male
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 39
Sign: Pisces
City: PHOENIX
State: Arizona
Country: US
Signup Date: 4/18/2006
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Wednesday, November 04, 2009
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Current mood:  ecstatic
The next morning at the McMansion, Bitter Jen's doing her best to look sexy for the cameras... 
...don't ever change, babe...
She admits she's just tired and not at the top of her game and needs to refocus. It probably doesn't help that 80's Hooker is bouncing around like a hyperactive terrier and saying how nice it would be if a boy was sent home instead of a girl this time. How about do the challenge first, honey?
Of course, we're treated to our daily Sexist Pigshit bluster in which he insists he's not at all intimidated by the others and their skills (even though he's never once won an Elimination Challenge) and that he's just gonna do what he does (ignore whatever the challenge is and make mediocre Greek food) and hope the judges like it. Why does it feel like I've typed that same paragraph 9 times before this?
Anyhow, they wind up at Craftsteak and everyone immediately heads into the kitchen to check out all the meat, and they are orgasming right and left over the lovely array of juicy hunks of former animals that are laid out for them. I think DirtyBear might actually be drooling a little. Before they can really get started, though, Daddy Tom himself shows up...
...and is doing a really horrible job of hiding that he knows they're about to get vegefucked...
He says that he and Scar have a "special guest in town" and that they're going to be cooking for her and calls Natalie Portman out. Fat Kid immediately pops a huge two-inch erection and tells us the only important acting work Nat's ever done was Star Wars, and I'm guessing he's got a life-size blowup Queen Amidala bop bag at home with crusty stains on it. Oh please... you think that's gross? Check out Sexist Pigshit's expression...
...speaking of Phantom Menaces...
Now I'm a little afraid for her, because that's some serious eye-raping going on, but that won't last long, because she's about to deliver her poorly-concealed blow to the cheftestants as Daddy Tom invites her to tell them about her likes and dislikes. After a far-too-long lead-in yippy-yap-yapping about all the different flavors and cuisines she loves to try, she drops her bomb about being a vegetarian, and... zzzzzzz.
Honestly, this was bad timing, because vegetarian is not nearly as restrictive as vegan, therefore this to me is a far easier challenge than the one levelled at our Top Chef Masters a few months ago. If they had really wanted to fuck everybody up, they should have told them she was a Level 6 Vegan (they will eat nothing that has been touched by human hands, so you often find them clustered about at the foot of fruit trees with their faces turned upwards and their mouths wide open... they also drink directly from the Slurpee machine this way, because that counts too).
As I suspected, 80's Hooker claims she loves cooking vegetarian food because "they're people, too!" and believes she's going to really shine on this challenge...
..."The same way I brilliantly shone at Pigs'n'Pinot and the Kowboy Kampout!"...
Hmmm, did "shine" suddenly become a synonym for "suck"? Anyhow, it's back to the pile-up at the pantry as everyone frantically tries to rethink their dishes. Sexist Pigshit yells for dibs on leeks, while 80's Hooker nabs the wild garbanzo beans, and DirtyBear calls kale. When in the supermarket does anybody ever fight over these ingredients? Bitter Jen is going for the morel mushrooms... at least until 80's Hooker tells her that she and DirtyBear are using them, too, and then suddenly Jen doesn't want them anymore. Someone should tell her that you can't catch the "80's Hooker Shine" that way.
Instead she heads for some big beautiful eggplants, but Fat Kid's also wanting to use them, so to make it fair they flip a dried out orange chip, and it apparently must have landed on the "spiky-haired doucheputz" side, because Fat Kid's taking them, and Bitter Jen is now stuck with having to use these teensy baby eggplants...
...or she's describing Fat Kid's Queen Amidala boner...
Of course, she makes me want to grab her by her side-ponytail and shove her face in Fat Kid's sweaty ass-crack when she goes on to say "I should change my idea right now, but I'm pretty much set on using eggplant." Oh yes, this kind of realization often ends well. Like never.
Hey, guess what awesomely original idea Sexist Pigshit is having? Well, because Dicky Blazehawk once made bananas look like scallops, and because everybody knows that scallops are akin to Holy Manna from God's Seven-Eleven-In-Heaven™, he's decided that he's going to make his leeks look like scallops, too! He's so proud of this idea that he's telling the others allll about it in that enduringly stupid way he has of stating the obvious, "I'm gonna call 'em 'leek-scallops'... cuz they'll look like scallops."
Which is why it's all the more sweeter when DirtyBear glances at him and quick as a whip snorts, "Look like scallops, taste like shit." and goes right back to looking for more produce as Sexist Pigshit giggles along and pretends they're laughing with him and not at him. Privately he brags to us that his restaurant has 60 dishes on the menu and over 20 of them are vegetarian, "I'm not worried about anything."...
..."Because I can't possibly fuck up worse than Robin."...
You know that's what he's thinking, too. Except what's so fucking great about leeks in the shape of scallops??!? You can have dogshit in the shape of candybars and it's still gonna taste like dogshit. Ah well, I can only hope and pray that the Ever-Turning Giant Scallop Of Karma™ is rumbling it's way down on him as we speak.
Meanwhile, DirtyBear's really taking his time to think things through, noting that it's hard to get the same satiated feeling you have after a meaty meal when you've only got veggies to work with, and tells us he knows what it feels like because he and his wife apparently give up meat for Lent every year. OMG, I totally remember that! I always used to try and give up shit I really hated (such as peas and lima beans and going to church) but my mom insisted that that was not a sacrifice, you had to give up something that you really liked (such as ice cream or the movies or masturbation) or else Jesus would know you weren't serious and you might burn in hell for it. I would usually tell her that Heath-Crunch Klondike bars (and masturbation) were worth going to hell for and then I would find myself on a sudden fast for the rest of the evening. Or the week.
Anyhow, he really wants to have a vegetable dish that's going to be satisfying, so he's using kale, turnips and morel mushrooms to create a meal that he hopes will have people forgetting that there was no meat in it...
...kinda like when you have a mouthful of Housewives...
Now that the others have cleared out of the pantry, 80's Hooker is free to go crazy amongst the veggies, and go crazy she does as she tells us there were so many different ideas going through her head that she just "couldn't focus". *sigh* She's so blown away by the presence of fresh garbanzo beans and Hen-Of-The-Woods mushrooms and all the other awesome produce in Daddy Tom's kitchen that she's going to make something with 84,627 components that she's never made before.
Because 80's Hooker just lives to do shit like that, Sexist Pigshit's acting all cocky and calm, "Eh, I don't care what I cook... it don't make a difference to me.... I'll cook anything... I'll cook dogs!" Um, except that's not vegetarian, numbnuts. Plus, I gotta love his sincere passion for food there. Now we find out the other reason why he's so overconfident, it's because Mama Pigshit was a Vegan when he was growing up! I'm thinking it's too bad she wasn't more into contraception as well.
Hey, here's Fat Kid again, and he says he actually feels kind of bad for the veg-heads because normally they just get a bunch of random tossed vegetables served to them, which is why he's using the eggplant for it's meat-like texture. He also acknowledges what we've all been saying for weeks when he admits he's really only been mediocre-middlin' in the competition so far, and says that it's annoying him. Well, that explains why he's paying it forward to the viewers! I guess not being a clear front-runner for Top Chef can make someone bitter enough to become a cancer-victim-hater. "I might be immature in terms of my career or the house, but I'm just as passionate as anybody else!"...
..."Just ask my Queen Amidala bop bag!"...
Li'l Volt condescendingly tells Fat Kid that he "did a great job today." Oh please, on what exactly? I guess he must be referring to the Quickfire in which both of them were in the forgettable middle? Yeah, way to strive to be average. Fat Kid breaks his neck to kiss Li'l Volt's sour ass right back as he says "Chef, I'm just here to help you."
Now Li'l Volt's boring me to tears talking about what an awesome artist he is with his food and shows us that he's taking all varieties of asparagus and doing all these amazing things with them (like dipping them in what looks like guacamole) and then continues travelling down Astonishing Avenue by mixing bananas and polenta together (which is an idea he picked up from one of the myriad chefs he's been fired by worked for).
Of course, when 80's Hooker happens by and asks if she can borrow some of his boiling water he refuses her out-of-hand because she isn't one of the Cool Kids With Overgelled Hair™. He saves his niceties for guys like Fat Kid and Sexist Pigshit who bow down before his artistry...
...and, I might add, comes dangerously close to slicing off 80's Hooker's left nipple!!...
Seriously uncool (not to mention unprofessional) to be gesturing with a sharp knife like that so closely in her direction! I could bet zillions that he would have chastised her for exactly the same thing if she had done something so careless!
Ruh-roh! It looks like Project Leeky-Scallop has run into trouble. Sexist Pigshit insists he put his leeks in to boil within the first five minutes of their competition, but after 20 minutes the water isn't boiling, so he leaves them on for another 20 minutes and it still won't boil. Then he notices that his pot is wobbling and claims that a warped bottom is the reason why the water isn't boiling and the leeks aren't cooking. That could be true I suppose, but I would have thought at that point he'd have picked a different pot. Also, he's calling Daddy Tom's cookware warped?...
...I smell someone running for Mayor Of ExcusesVille!...
Bitter Jen's beating her vegetables against the table as part of her preparation, but it just looks plain abusive to me. She says she would never ever be a vegetarian, but she can cook vegetarian food when she absolutely has to. Well, gosh, it sounds like someone's Passion Tank is edging on over into the "E" (for "Eh") territory. The only way she could show any less enthusiasm would be if she were no longer breathing. She's still pissed that Fat Kid won the big eggplants out from under her, and says using the baby ones is going to make things that much harder. Which is why I'm beginning to believe that she's just plain tired of it all and wants to go home, and that's a damned shame. Then again, if I had to live with El Greeko Captain BlowHawk and The Skidmark Kid, I'd probably be ready to stick my head in the oven as well.
We haven't heard much from Big Volt, prolly because he's been cooking as opposed to bullshitting everyone or congratulating himself. He says he felt pretty good going into this, but now realizes that he's going to be cutting it REALLY close as far as the timing of completing his dish, which is making him nervous. Strangely, he doesn't seem to be looking for a way to blame the cookware, or the produce (or 80's Hooker) for the situation.
Speaking of Sexist Pigshit, as time is running out he's gotten his leeks out and has attempted to cut them into their desired scallop shape and he's noticing they aren't really cooked all the way through and they're kinda tasteless, so he's decided to hide those facts by plating them in such a way that the diners will have to eat everything together and thus a magical and heavenly dish will be brought to life...
...except the sad, sad leeks seem to disagree...
You know a dish is fucked up when the chef trots out "It is what it is" because that clearly means what it isn't is "any good". Still, points to Pigshit for sheer ballsiness in believing he can still pull this off without making Natalie Portman gag.
Of course, 80's Hooker wouldn't be 80's Hooker if she didn't almost completely forget a main ingredient, which happens to be the very garbanzo beans she was orgasming over earlier in the challenge, and she runs out of time before she can get them on the last three plates. If that had been me I would have just been grabbing them by the double handful and pitching them down my line of plates in the hopes that everyone would get a few. Or I would have dumped everything in a big bowl and claimed I was serving it "family style". Or I would have made a salad and called it a "Lettucymphony".
80's is up first to present her dish to NatPort, her vegetarian friends and the judges... 
...oooh, trés vegedelic!...
That plate looks like a set of Prang watercolors. After Scar takes a few bites she says the chermoula has a lot of salt in it, "I feel my ankles swelling!" and NatPort comments that she's never had fresh garbanzo beans before. Daddy Tom speaks out right away to say he doesn't have any on his plate (ugh, of all the people to not get food!) but LottaButt is here to save the day and gives him a couple of his. Natalie likes the fact that the plate was so beautiful and says she loved, well... looking at it. Then Gail Simmo- OMG Gail's back this week! And she's wearing another one of her hideous blouses that looks like Audrey II tried to eat her but then gagged and spit her up half way!...
...and tell the little TV amateur next to you to stop breaking the fourth wall!...
Sorry, I'm just so happy to see Gail that I don't even really mind her Little Loofah Dress of Horrors! Anyhow, she chimes in that there is definitely a salt/seasoning issue, and Daddy Tom echoes that the entire dish is just out of balance. Natalie's starting to look pissy and put out...
..."Don't these people remember that I was in Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium??!?"...
Fat Kid's up next, and luckily his li'l boner for Queen Amidala doesn't hamper his ability to waddle. His dish also curiously looks like faux-scallops...
...and it also appears to be giving us a Picasso-like frown...
Gail's loving the texture of the eggplant while Natalie says she likes the salad. LottaButt says the presentation was thoughtful but that he just got a bit of lavender blossom in his mouth and that the effect was "rather polarizing" in that it made him think he was sucking on a bar of soap. Wellnow, if that isn't a pleasant after-dinner-taste!
Fat Kid's back in the kitchen and warns Sexist Pigshit and Big Volt that Natalie's got "ten really hot friends with her!" which tells me he's got pretty low standards because we all know that NO Hollywood starlet is going to have pretty girlfriends, they will only surround themselves with a bevy of fuggos to enhance their own beauty in contrast...
...See? Angelina's an old pro at it!...
Where was I? OH yeah, Li'l Volt is suddenly running around the kitchen (so unprofessional!) looking for his precious chopped hazelnuts. He's panicked because he's got so many components to plate, and he's using a blowtorch on some stuff as well. Naturally he talks some more about how he takes more risks than anyone else in the competition with his food (and if he calls himself a "maverick" then I'm going to make a sunburnt scoopy-nosed voodoo doll and shove every T-pin I can find at STAPLES into it). Of his puny competition he says, "I hope they understand my seriousness about winning this competition." I think the word he's really looking for is "humorlessness".
Oh well, here's what he hopes will have Natalie Portman "go walking away from this dish scratching her head saying 'I don't know why I like that, but I just did.'"...
...or maybe she'll have an allergic reaction to the bananas and stagger away scratching her throat and gasping for air...
Natalie's all gushy over having banana in her polenta, she just can't say enough about it. Ugh, can it, bitch! For Jeebus' sake, It's not like getting peanut butter in your chocolate! Fortunately we can always count on Gail to give us a reality check, and she says while it's fun that Li'l Volt is kinda trying to turn everything upside down, she's discovered several large lumps of banana in her portion that she finds "a little bit off-putting." Excuse me a moment, but BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Even more fun, one of Nat's fuglier friends says Li'l Volt is "like, Picasso!" which gets a big laugh from everyone and forces Natalie to scramble to regain their attention as she claims the dish makes her so happy, "It makes me, like, smile and laugh, and I'm confused!" Blurgh, this is the same kind of ditzy crap that was coming out of Zooey Deschanel's mouth. Let's move on.
Bitter Jen's not liking how her plates look, and she's noticed that the amount of food on them is supposedly much much less than everyone else's...
...well, if it's any consolation, that plate'd be a gigantic pigout feast to a walking skeleton like Rachel Zoe...
She proceeds to go around the entire table and drizzle some of her verjus nage (pronounced "vair-ZHJOO nayyyzhjjuh") sauce on everyone's plates, but she's such a bundle of nerves that she might as well have just put it in a watering can and walked down each side of the table raining on everyone's plate as she goes.
After she leaves, someone whispers "She was so nervous!" and Scar agrees that Jen was really shaking badly. Gail says everything tastes beautifully, there's lotsa flavor and for her the best part is the verjus! Nat agrees, saying it added "some danger to the presentation" since she almost spilled it on everyone! HA, it's great to make fun of other people's nerves, isn't it Nat? I hope you remember that the next time you have a tough audition for a part you really want. And I hope that part goes to Shannen Doherty instead of you.
In any case, Gail also notes that it didn't quite feel substantial enough to be a main course, which sets Queen Amidala complaining that so many times vegetarians get served what "feels like a collection of sides". Oh wah, cry me a river Miss Golden Globe Winner and then tell me you don't have your own personal fucking chef to cook you turnips in ten thousand ways. I'll smack you with a soggy leek.
Oooh, speaking of which, it's time for those as well!...
...I can't express how utterly appetizing it would be to have an exploded and deflated used-condom served to me...
Scar zeroes in on him right away when he gets done with his description, bluntly asking "So where is the protein?" and Pigshit stutters that the "vision" he had for the protein was the leek. Daddy Tom and Nat both look incredulous at this...
...perhaps he was referring to the stuff inside those ribbed and damaged Trojans?...
Scar says it smells like boiled turnips or cabbage, and Daddy Tom says "If this were a steak, it's too rare." One of Nat's other fug friends says the orange and purple colors of the dish were beautiful, but Natalie herself says she wants to like it more since she loves leeks and purple is her favorite color, but, eh, not so much here. Gail thinks there might have been a good idea in there somewhere, but he just didn't execute it properly. Pardon me a moment while I do the Happy Condomania Dance™!
As he predicted, Big Volt nearly ran out of time, and wound up having to scatter his garlic on his plates in a fashion that is not his usual method, it turns out he also left some items off the dish as well and fears he might be bottoming tonight as well...
...this is an entreé??!?...
Funny, his dish looks about as anemic as Bitter Jen's did, portionwise, but nobody's saying anything about that. Natalie says it tastes lemony, and Scar asks her if she likes the garlic blossoms he threw on the plates. She replies that they're spicy and then Scar says "It's like a little prick on the tip of my tongue!" which makes everyone giggle (cuz we all know whose little prick she's had on her tongue) as she tries to clarify that although the blossoms are tiny in size they were "big in your mouth" and they all cackle some more. Since Daddy Tom can't turn down a lame sex joke he jumps right in, saying "They went from a little prick to big in your mouth." which prompts a raspy-voiced member of Nat's FugCrew to fire back at him, "That's what usually happens!"...
...uhhh, not for you it doesn't...
Jeez, my 64-year-old heavily Catholic mother can come up with a better double-entendré than that! Anyhow, they don't really say anything else about Big Volt's dish, so I guess silly sex references are the best compliment he's going to get out of it. You're welcome, Biggie.
Lastly, DirtyBear's plating his dish and notes that it's a lot sloppier looking than he'd like it to be, but veggies just don't behave the same way animal flesh does when you're serving them to people, and he's intimidated by some of the prettier plates people have put out...
...eeee, he's right, that does look a little splatty...
LottaButt immediately notices that DirtyBear's dish is "richer" and "feels more like an entreé". Gail calls it "meaty" as well, but says the smoke on the kale was really strong and a little out of balance for her. Daddy Tom says DirtyBear's dish proved that veggies "don't have to be light all the time" while Nat calls it "a manly vegetarian meal!" Mm-hmm, you ain't kiddin' sister. DirtyBear's my kinda man.
As for the shitfucker who clearly isn't my kind of man, Sexist Pigshit's nervous because he knows he didn't execute well, but is holding on to the fact that 80's Hooker didn't finish plating, either, which obviously makes him feel better, "I'm not concerned at this point, I know I'm gonna pull through. I always do." Dear Karma Scallop: please don't let me down again. Especially when Bitter Jen is pretty sure she screwed the roots out of her dish.
BTW, they all got a chance to have a fabulous dinner at LottaButt's restaurant, and DirtyBear is making me fall hard for him when he tells everyone that he once ate 130 chicken wings in an hour!...
...dammit, DirtyBear, stop teasing me with your fabulousness!...
He says the spread of Italian food that LottaButt made for them was one of the best meals he's ever had, and it appears there was no shortage of meats in it, either. I bet Daddy Tom wishes he had been there, too, instead of getting hit on by NataPort's Fug Posse as they get drunk on the vino.
Scar enters the Stew Room and asks to see DirtyBear (yay!), Li'l Volt (boo!) and Fat Kid (double boo!). Ah well, at least we can enjoy the rictus of horror on Sexist Pigshit's face as he realizes he's not winning this round...
...awwww, sad leek dance!...
Daddy Tom tells Li'l Volt he was convinced the whole banana-polenta thing wasn't going to work, but the dish reminded him why he should keep an open mind to things, because it actually did work. Natalie says the dish had so much humor in it, she just loved how everyone ate it and gave each other WTF looks. Weird how it came from the most humor-free cheftestant in the universe.
As for Fat Kid, I think he's about to pop right there in his BVD XXLs just being so close to the Mother of Princess Leia, he barely hears Gail telling him how great his dish was, or Daddy Tom telling him how much fun it was...
...Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. ...
As for DirtyBear, Natalie's gushing, she loves kale, people rarely do it well for her, it had great texture, the flavor was special, it was just a wonderful dish, and Daddy Tom agrees and says he "didn't miss the meat at all!" So Natalie gets to tell them who won... and it's DIRTYBEAR AGAIN!!!!
OMG, he's the first one to pull of a Quickfire/Elimination combo like this! He's happy to have won this one, because he feels like he's proven he can cook veggies as well as meat. Plus, he's won a "suite" of G.E. Monotone appliances just like the ones they've been using in the Top Chef Kitchen!
Of course, it wouldn't be right to have someone win without Li'l Volt being bitter about losing and talking shit. "He put turnip pureé, roasted turnips and a big pile of sauteéd mushrooms on top of that. *I* could have made that dish in 20 minutes."...
...and now I bet Bitter Boyfriend wishes he had, huh?...
Oh, but he's not done... "For a dish that I could have made the second year of my apprenticeship to win? I was obviously pissed off." Yes, because everyone knows blowtorches automatically make food taste better. At least, that was Jeffrey Dahmer's opinion on the subject. Asshat. Oh well, too bad for you Li'l Voltie, you're the bridesmaid once again.
Meanwhile, Fat Kid's invited 80's Hooker, Bitter Jen... and Sexist Pigshit to go see the judges! Starting with Pigshit, Natalie wants to know why his dish didn't really have a protein on it, and he trots out his same tired-ass story about wanting to make his leek-scallops because they'd look like a protein. Gail's kinda incredulous here, "But, you know that leeks aren't protein, right?" and Sexist is forced to answer "Yes!" (with a tinge of his nasty attitude thrown back at her for good measure). Scar says they were super-pungent because they weren't cooked evenly, and he starts blaming his buckled pot for not heating the water, and tries to claim everything else in the dish was great, but Daddy Tom says nothing else mattered, they couldn't get past the shitty leeks, and insists that he could have cut them in half and roasted them in 20 minutes, they just wouldn't have looked like scallops. Pigshit just shrugs and says he didn't think of it. "Whatever, whatever... what am I gonna do?"
...uhhh, piss off the head judge for starters?...
Yeah, his blasé attitude is going over real well with Daddy Tom. 80's Hooker is next and goes on another one of her big babbling explanations of why her dish should have worked, but she also mentions having never worked with fresh garbanzo beans before and never having stuffed a squash blossom before and blah blah blah everyone's eyes are glazing over, and finally Daddy Tom stops her and says she's all over the map, the dish can't come together because there's nothing to tie it together, plus he didn't get any garbanzo beans on his plate. 80's Hooker admits that she cooked with her "head spinning" today.
For Bitter Jen, Scar's complaint is that she didn't see two hours worth of work on the plate, and Daddy Tom tells her it felt like she just put forth a garnish. Jen admits it was barely bigger than an amuse-bouche. Scar also brings up the fact that some of them wound up wearing her verjus nage sauce, and Jen just pleads that the judges always make her nervous. Daddy Tom points out that her performance has been tanking, and she says she hopes she has another day to prove to them that she's good, and if not, thanks for the opportunity. That kind of defeatist stuff never sits well with Daddy Tom, either. They are sent out.
Once alone, Daddy Tom says he likes the fact that this challenge throws the cheftestants out of their comfort zones, some of them were able to roll with it really well, while others sucked shit through a tube. Then Natalie gets all bitchy diva on us and says "It's a very real-life challenge! I am constantly walking into restaurants that don't have vegetarian entreés.... and the chefs improvise!"...
...Okay, um... a.) Then quit walking into Black Angus and Ruth's Chris... and
b.) Most chefs won't "improvise" for regular peons like me, only celebitches like you... and
c.) Carry a Ziploc of carrot sticks with you and stop trying to ruin Burger King for everyone else!...
Gail notes that Sexist Pigshit is exuding a lot of arrogance as if he knows he didn't do well but doesn't really believe he's going to go home for it. Natalie points out that he kept focusing on the leeks as the issue, but she didn't really like the other elements of his dish, either. Meanwhile Pigshit's back in the Stew Room making more excuses, saying that he didn't have access to the stuff he normally uses, like his "yogurts and whatever else." 80's Hooker looks him dead in the face and quietly says "Shoulda, woulda, coulda." BWAHAHAHAHAHA, good one 80's!...
...even though everybody still hates you...
So they are called back and after the rehashing of everyone's faults, the chef going home tonight... OMG, OMG, OMG, OMFG, IT'S FUCKING SEXIST PIGSHIT!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLOL!! 80's Hooker outlasted him! Thank you for answering my prayers, Karmic Scallop! Of course he's not going to gracefully fade away without insisting that she should have gone home before him, but fuck that, this is like Christmas come early. Now if she could just pick off Fat Kid next, I'd feel like this season had fulfilled my every desire.
As for 80's Hooker, she's happy to still be around, and feels that the mood in the house should become less "backstabby" and "ugly" now that Pigshit's leaving. Of course, right as she says this they show Fat Kid throwing a temper tantrum and kicking stuff off of a shelf like the little fatbrat he is. Um, I think the "ugly" and "backstabby" ain't really gone yet, honey.
And there we have it! What did you think of this episode? Are you as pleased as I am to see Sexist Pigshit leaving BEFORE 80's Hooker? Do you no longer wish for Li'l Volt to win this season? And wasn't Natalie Portman kind of a cooze? Thanks as always for your patience and commentary, and I hope everybody had a Happy Halloween. I'm off to have some more "fun-size" candybars now.
love, J-Mo :)
8:41 AM
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