Here is a letter my roommate wrote and sent around last night. I wanted to post it here just in case someone on this huge friends list of mine might know something about James Huden. Reading this also touched me, and makes me grateful for all the wonderful people I have in my life.

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I have never done something like this before but I can not sleep lately & hope this will help.  I am starting my own chain letter-well sort of.
 
I want to share a personal story and a message. 
 
This December 26th marks the 5th anniversary of my brother Russel's murder.  http://www.amw.com/fugitives/brief.cfm?id=35548 
 
I choose not to say death because he did not die-he was killed.  He was killed 12/26/2003.  This is one of the hardest birthday's I have had as this year marks an age my older brother never reached.  I will forever share the day of my birth with the death of my brother and every year it is hard to come up with the excitement for my birthday when friends & family ask "what are you doing for your birthday?".  I can not ever stop & realize that this "happy" time is now shared with one of the saddest/hardest things I have ever gone through in my life. 
 
This year I would ask that you forward this message out if you feel comfortable doing this.  Not only to spread the word but to give out my message.  This email is very hard to write & I am very sorry for this sad message during the holidays. 
 
What I rarely have shared with anyone is my sadness & guilt I feel!  My brother & I had not spoken since August of 2003.  I was mad when my sister-in-law called me & told me that Russ wanted to attend the dinner my mom was driving over for (she & my step-dad if possible, would drive over here for a family dinner if we were unable to make it to Spokane for the holidays).  In fact he was going to come whether we wanted him to or not.  My mom had also not spoken to Russel in a very long time.
 
My brother Russel lived his life like me & mom-stubborn, stubborn & more stubborn!  Sadly, we all let this family trait rule our life for a little while & therefore Russ decided to stop speaking to my mom & me.  I know I did not try to reconcile with him at any point. 
 
The dinner night came & I was seriously thinking of not going because I (being stubborn) did not want to see Russ.  But since my mom was coming all the way over I did the right thing & went to that dinner.
 
NEVER-NEVER would I know that that one night was the last time I would ever see Russ & I cherish that night so very much.   The dinner went ok-there were some tense times but at the end Russ & I hugged & he told me he would call me sometime & try to get together with me.  To be quite brutally honest-I (in my head) at that moment heard "blah blah blah".   The next day was my birthday & I had plans to go see Lord of the Rings 3.  When Russ & my sister-in-law called me & asked if they could come see me that morning for my birthday, I said the words that will continue to haunt me, "no, I am too busy to see you."
 
I can not express the amount of guilt & sadness that I chose a movie over seeing family now knowing that Russ was murdered later that day.  I am not one to live a life of "what if, should have's" but I can speak from the heart when I say this is one of the hardest things I live with.  Knowing logically that had I said "yes come see me" things still may be what they are today but what if...what if by saying yes had I maybe messed up someone's plans to kill my brother.  Maybe that would have given James Huden the chance to ask himself "should he really do this."
 
I am not telling this to get any sympathy.  I am telling this for 2 reasons:
 
1.  Please stop in your busy life and think of that person that annoys you, that you are upset with, etc.  If you feel up to it-give them a call, send them an email or letter.  I can not stress enough that feeling of remorse for wasting what ended up being very precious time with my brother.  Realistically you may not feel like reaching out so to that I say at least do this:  think of that person that upsets you and think of 1 or 2 times when they made you smile.  Think of a happy time-do not think "blah blah blah", do not think of why you are annoyed, just try to think of a good time you had with that person.
 
2.  The other reason I am asking for this to be shared if to also spread the word.  The man that killed Russel is still out there.  James Huden is out there somewhere and it make me want to tell the world that he killed my brother.  He should have to own up to his actions.  I am sad that I may never get the chance to face him & tell him how I feel.  That he had a CHOICE & he made the wrong one!  He killed a father, a son, a grand-son, a nephew, a cousin, an uncle (though he will never get to meet his niece), and that he killed my big brother! 
 
Thank you for taking the time to read this.