This has been very much a year of change for the girls and I, and I have learned so much. As I looked around this Christmas, I realized I had worried for nothing, and that God has provided for us, that we might not always have what we want, but we certainly have what we need.

Years ago the holiday would have been about expensive presents, the latest gadgets, clothing bought at the best stores. This year is so very different, where I took the time to just sit and hold my youngest, to stop and smell the roses. It was not about the show, it was about the fun.

Today at Mom's I laughed .. at the wrapping paper, little Charley climbing in the cupboards. And I know there is no other place I would rather be than with my family, the people that love us ... unconditionally.

And this evening as I sat in the front seat of the truck I realized that sometimes life just sucks. And it doesn't matter what you do, or what you don't do things just are, and life is as it is. And somehow I must choose to accept it as it is and find a way in my heart to deal with it all, or to walk away.

And then I take a moment to think and realize it will never be that easy. And, so I guess I shall do the only thing I really can do, and that is put it in God's hands. For only He knows what is best for me, for us. And at the same time I shall pray that He gives me the strength I shall need to deal with the outcome of his decision.

Life was so much easier when I was the little kid climbing in the cupboards ....

Becky