And when you know they are returning to an emotionally abusive boyfriend in a house full of drug addicts that is the hardest thing of all.

But, hey.  What would I know?  She is 18, afterall.  As if turning that magical age finally opens the window to all the knowledge you need to be successful.

And so, the same bright girl that always told me she would settle for nothing but the best, the one that said she would find a man who had a future so she would never struggle like I do is doomed to repeat history.

Turn away the college grads with aspirations for that same Loser Boy with a 9th grade education, one who calls here stoned all the time, one who has worked a total of one day and refuses to find a job so she is paying her own way back.  

As I listened to her last nite begging him yet again and I felt nothing but revulsion.  Not that she is leaving here, but that she is going to THAT lifestyle.  Not that she is going to be with a boy, but with THAT boy.  Not that one day she will have a child, but that she will have a child with someone who sees getting high as a way of life.

And so, I can only hope any pray that what I have taught her will get her through the bad times.  And that when she finally realizes Mom isn't so stupid after all that she is not a Mom herself.

Time to go throw up.

Becky 
(formerly known as Mutti)