Last night I performed live on FM radio with Vic Hennegan.  We were totally prepared and excited: I got all of my Reactor rhythms ready in Live and he got all of his sequences ready with his Moog Modular through Cubase.

We were ready to play a set with the intensity and energy of fellow artists like the Ozric Tentacles and Squarepusher, but so many things went wrong that during our set we were literally reduced back to the size of drone music again---that's how much went wrong.  We were so upset about the forced change that we couldn't withstand talking about it on the air at the end.  To top that off, of course, people called in and said "You shouldn't have said anything about it.  Dude, I was tripping out so hard to your set that Timothy Leary would have been jealous." (or something to that degree) and "Now you ruined it for me." was the moral of their story.

I wouldn't have announced it if I didn't think there were successful colleagues of mine who might be listening in, and whom expect more from me when I sent out notices of a performance.  They all know I would not tell them about something I'm doing unless I thought it was truly significant.  I fear that I've chipped away a large chunk of their artistic faith in me, and that they will be reluctant the next time I tell them to support.

But yes, perhaps I STILL just need to learn how to keep my mouth shut in the face of total artistic disaster.  Unlike physical disaster, where people expect and desire speeches and apologies, in the art/entertainment world the audience HATES apologies (for some reason).  It would do me well to remember that.

As for Vic and I, no matter. We will dust ourselves off and rehearse far more thoroughly for the next one.  I just wouldn't be surprised if it were acoustic this time.   ,'-)

(The following is something my girlfriend Lisa wrote me today in answer to last night's performance.)