Things That Were Never Meant For Me To See...

      

      ...I FINALLY saw.

      

      Yup, been doing more rooting through old,
      previously unwatched video-tapes, and I came
      up with two--you should pardon the expression--gems
      these last couple of nights (both made for
      me, long ago, by a close buddy--thanks big
      guy!! Can "Black Adder" be very
      far over the horizon now?...)

      

      First into the VCR was the ill-fated 1994
      "Fantastic Four" movie that was
      never released. (For the curious, this page does an admirable job summarizing
      the whole sorry situation, and then some). Produced purely to maintain the rights
      to Marvel's oldest family, with apparently
      no intention of EVER seeing the light of
      day--a salient fact that was kept from the
      actors, director, crew, and--he'd have you
      believe--even hired gun producer Roger Corman
      himself--what you have is one of the cheapest
      looking movies you're EVER likely to see!!
      

      

      But is it WORTH the seeing?

      

      I'd say have to say yes, but with reservations.
      The special effects are almost nonexistent
      and the script is simply pedestrian. Despite
      these flaws, the filmmakers do a decent job
      of capturing the comics series proper spirit
      (even if the scene, pre-rocket launch, in
      which Sue and Johnny's mom dubs the quartet
      "The Fantastic Four:" for no discernible
      reason, IS cringe-worthy). When I mentioned
      that I'd seen this flick recently over on
      my Facebook page, a LOT of positive comments
      came in from folks, some even preferring
      it to the later, big-budget version!! I'm
      not prepared to go THAT far, but I will say
      I thought that their Dr. Doom. looked truer
      to the comics version that his latter day
      doppelganger (though the decision to record
      the actors lines while wearing that metal
      mask was, in the final analysis, the wrong
      one. Or as Reed might've said to Doc in the
      heat of battle, "What? WHAT did you
      say? Could you repeat that threat, please?...").
      And look, I LOVE Jessica Alba, honest, but
      Rebecca Staab looks EXACTLY the way Jack
      Kirby drew Sue Storm (even if she and the
      rest of the group were wearing the John Byrne
      designed outfits...). 

      

      It's a fun curio--and the very last image
      is a true hoot! It's just as well it was
      never released, though, as it might well've
      killed the audience's potential appetite
      for any future FF flicks.

      

      And speaking of appetites...



Did you know there was a two hour pilot made
      for a proposed "Justice League of America
      " series back in 1997? And that, from
      what I've been able to ascertain looking
      around the 'net, unlike the relatively warmly
      received FF movie, THIS unreleased piece
      of cinema is basically reviled? Yup, it's
      true.

      

      But for all it's faults--and there are many--i
      found it just as entertaining, and maybe
      even a smidgen bit more so, than the FF flick.
      I can see why fans didn't like it, though,
      as it strays way, WAY far away from the source
      material. Guy Gardner is Green Lantern, for
      instance, but while he's outfitted in Guy's
      costume, his mask--and his persona--come
      directly from Kyle Rayner. Barry Allen is
      The Flash--but this isn't any Barry Allen
      WE'VE ever seen in the comics. And while
      this production is much spiffier than the
      FF one--and the special effects marginally
      better--the costumes are just plain awful!!
      Fire and Ice, the two female members--and
      unassailable evidence that the producers
      were attempting to emulate the light-hearted
      Giffen/DeMatteis JLA era--pass muster, clotheswise
      (two attractive women in skin tight outfits--tough
      to botch THAT up!), but the male members
      range from barely passable (GL), mostly right
      with key elements way wrong (The Flash's
      mask and gloves), to impossibly dorky looking
      (The Atom). David Ogden Stiers as J'onn J'onnz
      actually looks fairly decent--until the camera
      catches a sideways silhouette of him! From
      MASH to mashed potatoes--way. WAY too many
      mashed potatoes, apparently!!

      

      Storywise, the plot revolves around what
      is more or less the origin and induction
      into the League of Ice (she's decked out
      in costume only briefly, in the show's final
      seconds) as the group takes on the mysterious
      Weather Man. Interspersed throughout are
      interview clips with the various members,
      making pithy observations on their day-to-day
      lives as super-heroes. Truth to tell, I thought
      this added quite a bit of personality to
      the proceedings and liked the conceit quite
      a bit. There were even some mildly witty
      lines sprinkled throughout these segments,
      and combined with the fairly decent acting
      (particularly from the thespians portraying
      Ice, Ray Palmer, and big-browed Green Stiers
      himself (though if you look closely, his
      neck is continually in need of a tad more
      emerald make-up...)). I can see where this
      may not've been the best direction for a
      JLA telefilm to head in, but--aside from
      those truly horrendous outfits--it's a mildly
      interesting approach. it sure made me appreciate
      the Ice character far more than I ever had
      before, that's for sure!!

      

      Anyway, that's the way I feel about things.
      If you wanna judge for yourself, well, no
      need to scrounge up an overpriced bootleg
      copy of either previously suppressed super-hero
      epic--merely go look for YOURSELF!! (Yup
      that means YOU, John Firehammer!) BOTH of 'em are are on the YouTube!; links
      to follow...

      

      
      JLA TV pilot 1997 Part 1


      JLA TV pilot 1997 Part 2

      JLA TV pilot 1997 Part 3

      
      JLA TV pilot 1997 Part 4

      JLA TV pilot 1997 Part 5

      
      JLA TV pilot 1997 Part 6

      JLA TV pilot 1997 Part 7 

      JLA TV pilot 1997 Part 8

      
      JLA TV pilot 1997 Part 9

      

      
      Fantastic Four 1994 Part 1

      
      Fantastic Four 1994 Part 2

      Fantastic Four 1994 Part 3

      
      Fantastic Four 1994 Part 4

      Fantastic Four 1994 Part 5

      Fantastic Four 1994 Part 6

      Fantastic Four 1994 Part 7

      
      Fantastic Four 1994 Part 8

      Fantastic Four 1994 Part 9

      

      Enjoy! (Well, if you can...)