I already read the book 'Wild At Heart' a few years ago, or maybe it was just a year ago?

I decided to pick it up again, because to be honest, I really did not understand it when I read it. I was probably because there was alot of 'dust' on my heart. My mom when describing my room as a child would always say 'Your room just has a inch of dirty in it on the floor! What a pig sty!" I would have to agree with her. The room did look like a pig sty, if you know of a teenagers room who didn't remain a pig sty 24/7 (at least in their mothers eye) please give them my number. I need to ask them where is the circuitboard and the robot parts because you are not human!

You see, Jesus, since I was saved on March 21st, 1991, tells me that my heart is clean. 'There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!" But that does not mean that there could not a crust go around the heart, or 'dust' as I would commonly refer to it as. It seems to have a sterile, kind of a 'non-toxic' aroma to it doesn't it? That is the way we want to hide our 'wound'. You see the book 'Wild At Heart' by John Eldridge has really opened my eyes to me, a fragile, warriors heart that needs to be exercised. The book strips me down as a man, makes me naked emotionally and spiritually. Really just cleans out the dust that makes up my 'false' self. That false self is such a self deluding, ego-maniac. I am telling you my false self digs so deep, that while I am a ego maniac, I try to 'hide' it to make it seem as though I am not and make a false humility, to make me seem humble in a false way to make the attention come back to me anyway.

Did you understand that? Yeah it's twisted and sick. It is something that I just couldnt hold onto any more. Even in this blog, there is a instinct to 'make me feel important so you will think im awesome'.

I just want to lay it all out, my false self wants me to hide the twisted nature. I have told people lies about myself, I have told people things that just simply were not true.

If you have not done so, read 'Wild At Heart' by John Eldridge. Fantastic work. If you are a lady, I believe there is a ladies 'Wild At Heart' I believe it is called 'Captivating' or 'Captivated' by the authors wife. I have not read it, but if it as enlightening and 'false self' stripping down as 'Wild At Heart' is, I can say that I HIGHLY recommend the books, either of them. Read your bible daily and read this after your daily devotions.

If you are having problems in your marriage, your finances, work, relationships and you think it is everyone else, it is probably YOU and it is ME. I cast the stone at myself first before I could blame it on YOU.

Jesus says 'You couldn't even stay awake an hour and keep watch with me?

Men, we have fallen asleep. Let's awaken, let's arise, let's come out of our shells, weather or not we are in the last days, we must be busy at His work. Remember the parable of the master coming home unexpectedly?

We need to be busy when He returns. I want to be there, in the THICK.

I play drums so I am a warrior. War drum warrior. Next blog is going to be on 'Cadence of the Kingdom'.