Hey all. I was just wanting to update everyone on what's happening with me now. I used this guy's myspace to finally release all of my blogs. At first, I used a small notepad, then I used to put them on a website, then I just deleted them all because the reality of the situation was just too much. It's been six whole years since I wrote the blogs, and what a trip it has been.

To fill you in a little:

I ended up running away from home about two weeks after Seth committed suicide. The pain was just so much that I couldn't tolerate it anymore. I ended up running away to San Francisco for a bit just to find some time alone and be lost for a while. I really needed it. While I was there, I ended up being homeless for around three weeks WITH a job. I ended up working for a small cafe in SF, and when my manager found out I was homeless, he ended up offering up his place for me to stay in - as long as I wasn't a homophobe...he's gay, but it really wasn't a big deal.

I had a whole lot of alone time to reflect on things that had happened back at home. Working and trying to make a life for myself really helped me deal with everything that had happened. I stayed with my manager for around two years, then I met one of his nice friends. Her name was Tammy and she was so nice when I met her. She came over a whole lot because she had just broken up with her boyfriend, and needed someone to talk to. We ended up keeping in touch for over a year, then we decided that we were going to give this whole 'relationship' thing a try. We ended up moving into an apartment together in the neighborhood, and she's helping me get my life back on track in terms of going back to school and getting a degree.

I barely went back home last year, and my parents were ecstatic to see me. They welcomed me with open arms, and they met Tammy. It was actually Tammy who convinced me to go back and visit them; without her, I don't think I would have been able to go back. I also talked to Seth's parents when I went down there. They've been proactive in raising awareness for various causes associated with suicide and depression. They say that they still cry for Seth; I can't even imagine the pain they're still in.

Besides all of this, Sheena is still in prison, and she's writing a book. Her case was so high-profile that she already has several offers on the table for her when she's ready to commit to one deal. My brother and sisters are also doing pretty well. They were mad at me when I first came down for the week, but they were quick to forgive as I talked to them more and more about what I had done and for what reason I did it.

Tammy is now six months pregnant. We're doing pretty well financially right now, but I still worry about what a baby could mean. Either way, I'm really excited to become a Daddy. Its a really exciting time for me right now, but I still held on to all of that baggage from the past. Tammy told me to find someone to put it on myspace for me. If I did that, that would prove that I could at least let people in on what happened in the past, and finally let some old wounds heal. She was right. I feel so much better now, and I want to thank everyone who took the time to read what I had to say so many years ago. By the way, Tammy, if you're reading this, its a boy!