The past is a tricky critter. Our minds love to dread the future and re-live the past with little to no regard to the “now”. Ironic that “now” is the only time we can act to change anything about us and we spend so much time focused elsewhere.


I have posed this question before (possibly to you but I can’t remember) why is it that when we have a good day (a nice lunch with friends and winning a $100 scratch ticket for example) the memory fades so quickly but when we have a crappy day (we are picked last in gym class or someone breaks our heart) we box up the emotional baggage hold on to it for the rest of our lives? Obviously this is one of the little quirks we have to deal with by virtue of being human, but does it have to be this way?

We add the meaning to all we witness. Things, events, people, by their own nature have no inherent meaning to us until we give them one. This may sound callous but it isn’t meant to be. What happened in our past is a set of facts and that is all. Being the emotional beings we are we came by and added the emotion/meaning/belief to these facts and gave our selves some nice shiny emotional scars to carry around with us.


I’m not saying we should be without emotion or that emotion is bad. On the contrary, I am saying that we need to realize what we are doing and how we do it. Then we can embrace this aspect of ourselves and turn it in to an ally rather than an obstacle.


If we become aware of the process by which we interpret the world and add our meaning to things we can master it or, at the very least, have influence over it.
What meaning do I choose to attach to this set of facts? How about the one that gives me a satisfying and fulfilling life? When there is something in the past that isn’t sitting quite right then how about acknowledge that it happened but attach nothing to it?

This may smack of delusion or denial at first glance but not when you consider that we are all making up our own reality in the first place. This isn’t denying what has happened to us, what it is doing is releasing the hold the emotional component has on us so we can move on. That nagging little voice that lurks beneath all our limiting choices that whispers to us “you don’t deserve this”, “something is wrong with you”, or “you aren’t good enough” comes from this part of our personal “shadow”. We like to call this sort of “shadow” material “life lessons” but there is no wisdom in these lessons, they are just limiting thoughts designed to keep us “safe” from the world that has hurt us so much.


I like the idea of thanking this “shadow” material for helping you become the truly remarkable human being you are today. After all, you couldn’t have done it without its help. After thanking your past for the help open the door and let the light in. After that you can see there was no substance to the specter that has sat in the darkness, whispered in your ear, and was afraid to live.


 

I've been debating as to whether to reply to this comment or make it into a new blog post. I think it deserves a new post and I ask your permission to quote you extensively within that post. I don't promise complete agreement, but I do think that what you have said deserves a forum of it's own rather than a generally unread series of comments.


I plan to post within the week, with your permission.


Actually I plan to post within the week anyway . . . but with your permission I plan to post a response with quotes.


Neil
 

Quote away. Once anything I write is on Myspace (or any other public site) it is pretty much public domain. I look forward to your comments. I think we are of a very similar mindset but the BIG difference is you have wisdom.