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Mona Lisa

Lisa Ramsey


Last Updated: 11/19/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 27
Sign: Leo

City: Rohnert Park
State: California
Country: US
Signup Date: 1/8/2005
Thursday, May 31, 2007 

Current mood:  contemplative
I should never have said I love you.  I can see that now.  The idea of you was just something I wanted so badly.  Now when I think of it, it wasn't you at all.  You were just a picture in my head of the life I longed for.  I was lying when I said it.  I was just trying to force a square peg in a circular hole.  I thought if the words came out, if I heard them the sound they made, then it might make it true.  I thought it might make you want to keep me.  But, I only poisoned the drinking water.  It was what did us in, in the end.  I should never have said it.  For years I've wanted to take it back, to see what would have happened if my words had gone unspoken.  But I can't take them back.  And now you'll never look at me the same way again.  Then again, maybe you've always just looked straight through me.  Maybe I was just to busy looking at what I wanted to see.  I know you'll never understand who I am.  I'm not sure why I want to settle for that.  My constant blur of thoughts and noise are too much for you.  My complications never penetrate your simplicity.  You'll never understand my fascination with all things perfect and unattainable.  I should give up this hope, because like I said, I don't love you.  But, that never stopped me from wanting. 
6:49 AM
 
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