October 29, 2009 by
Jaded
DeLand, Florida - When I was just a little
Jaded,
I wanted to grow up and become a cop. I dreamed of saving the world
with my shiny gun and my big-ass flashlight. Now that I’m almost all
grown up, I realize that I never would have made it past the first week
– I would have had a run-in with the likes of the lovely Julie Hubbard
and I would have totally lost my shit. The arrest report would have
read, “The cracked bitch spit on my leg, and that’s when I pulled out
my big-ass flashlight and lit up her insides. The end.” Julie turned
what could have been a simple ticket and a fine into a sputum flinging,
name calling, law enforcement officer threatening, clusterfuck.
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