Every one of us has something called a "window of tolerance". A narrow box of comfort that confines one line which flows with the usual ups and downs of every day mood. Picture a heart monitor at a hospital whose spikes indicate a heartbeat. If this line in our "window" moves upwards it indicates a positive experience, emotion, or sensation. If the line moves downward it indicates the negative. Any experience that causes us to move out of our window is trouble. We're either manically depressive, or manically excited or angry. I thought this was interesting, it is easy to imagine that upward lines means good and downward lines mean bad and flatlines mean dead. But where did the leap that anger is possitive generate? Anger as I have discovered is the most complex emotion the human race ever experiences. Far more complicated than envy, sorrow and even love. I remember in school being told to look at pictures of smiley faces and report on how the face was feeling. Anger seemed right enough...a red face with smoke comming out of the ears...sure little smiley is pissed. We all know that anger doesn't look like that though. I think that the many faces of this emotion mimics the stages of grief. This whole "why is this happening to me" exclimation starts it all. Our emotions are s peaked that the possibility of looking at oneself is near impossible. When we are angry...WE ARE THE VICTIM! Of course this statement only comes from the fighters...those who fit the flight or freeze catagory basically give up...they dont accept or fight acceptance...they just dont care. I used to think that these people were empty shell people ("the oh my god what the hell happened to you?" types) but then I relized that maybe these people are smart they've fought so many times before that they don't have energy to waste on things they can't win...so they just don't care that much. But for the fighters...there are stages to anger...denial that the act isn't happening or isnt going to happen, usualy expressed with assurance and laughter. The "actual anger stage" where we don't understand any reason for anything...shown with rage...lots of cussing...breaking things etc. Barganing...where we claim it will all go away if...usually lots of crying and depression. Then Acceptance...bring it on mentality....shown with apathy. Basically I think with this corelation between phases of anger and stages of grief that being angry and being emotionally hurt is basically the same thing. This makes perfect sense to me. But what I can't comprehend is why some people refuse to accept simple things that countess other people have accepted!! We've all been dumped by someone we care about. Those of us who haven't yet...will. But what baffles the shit out of me is that when I got my heart served to me on a platter...I cried...a lot...for a long damn time. But that's about it. In fact so did 99.9 percent of everyone else I know whose ever been dumped by someone they loved. What we sure as hell didn't do is turn into vengeful monsters who threaten to hurt the people who dumped us and their loved ones and blow up their possesions. I mean what the fuck? (note to readers...yeah I'm way out of the damn window of tolerance people...at this point...fuck the damn window). Tell me something...what ever happend to some of mothers famous words of wisdom huh? Like treat others the way you want to be treated, or one bad apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch, or when someone takes issue with you at no fault of your own...hurts your feelings...be thankful that you didn't waste precious time on someone who wouldn't do the same for you. Life is too short for regret, or grudges or wills of pain. It's hard for all of us to make the right decision sometimes. At times making the right choice means hurting people you never wanted to harm. We all need to stop trying so hard to take justice into our own hands. If that ever worked...one father I know would be in prison, along with a guy who chose to rape his girl who had mono, and some parents who bacame alcoholics and drug addics and left thier children to fend for themselves. Parents who ever hurt thier kids with devorce or broke their children down with guilt and manipulation wouldn't be allowed to have kids. If we took justice into our own hands....so much would be different...but it would never make the pain go away. Fighters...keep to your window...it's not worth it to lose everything...especially your sense of self. Stay true to who you are.