So as I said in my last blog, the other weekend I was in London. I took the opportunity to go and look for my first dildo. In the gay area, near Comton Street, I did find my new buddy....Now choosing a dildo, and especially a first one, is not an easy thing : appropriate size, texture, finding the lubricant to go with,.... My first impression in the store was questioning : why are they all black? why do they look so extreme? The ones I was looking at made me feel like I was watching a S&M movie with dildos so big that it would be easier to directly put a hand in the ass of the guy being fucked (at least it would be flesh to flesh contact). If I was buying one of these dildos, would that mean I would have to start to wear harnesses and chaps in my everyday life? Not that I don't have a leather fetish : a hot sex session in chaps and harness is very nice, but it is a session.... If I was buying one of these dildos, would I be headed to another lifestyle as a Bottom Leather?
Jee, that was getting though when on a shelve, I saw IT. Green, in latex, perfectly phallic with some spots to increase the sensation. And vibrating.
Now the testing part was coming. As my Amoureux was coming back the day after my return from London, I had one evening all alone with my butt and my new Buddy dildo.

So relaxed and alone, I started practising and the entire session has two conclusions : first, it is wow; second it is WOW .

I was thinking about that while preparing a scampi's salad for dinner : now that you and I know I enjoy it up the ass, does that make me a bottom? I don't like being put in a box, and I always get confused with the international gay definitions : versatile, bottom, top, power bottom, power top, passive top, etc....I still have to look these up in a gay dictionary because if you put you dick up the ass of a guy, you're a top but if you lay just there while you dick is in the ass of the other guy who's doing all the work, you are not being very active, so does that make you a passive top? or just a bad fuck?

There is that guy I flirted with who explained me that for him, a bottom was just receiving it and that's it. So no pleasure, no heat, no sensuality, you just open your ass and that's it being a bottom? This explanation and the fact that instead of french kissing me he was conscientiously giving a car wash to my teeth made me not take in consideration his argument.

My conclusion is I don't give a damn about these gay boxes, I just enjoy my body or more my butt in this case.

I do also realise that my previous attempts to take it in the butt were not super experiences because I had no knowledge on how to do it well. And the guy I was doing it with also, so as a good boy that I am, buying the dildo and experiencing it alone gave me the ability to at least guide the guy, which is good.
I am now in control of my hole.

Also, this week I have been chatting with my good friend IndieSexy and we were discussing the cuddling topic. He was explaining me that he loved cuddling and hugging, not only his boyfriend, but his friends as well. I remember reading somewhere that this was a bear particularity, bears enjoy touching, grabbing, feeling the skin of the person in front of them. IndieSexy is not a bear. Well, I'll go one step ahead and state that we all need the touch of someone. Because most of the time, there is more love, respect and tenderness in a gentle caress or touch of the shoulder than there is in a letter or an e-mail. I always grab my friends, I touch them in the face, I feel them with my hands, I know they are in my heart and they know it too, but I need to measure their soul with my hands and my eyes. I guess this is the animal part in us talking, but with something more, something pure.

Scampi's salad for 2

-400 gr. of Giant Shrimps (they must be very fresh, possibly fished from the day)
-300 gr. of baby tomatoes
-some green salad leaves
-4 lemons
-1 orange
-Olive oil
-salt
-fresh pepper
-Coriander

Take the skin off the shrimps, put them in a bowl with the juice of the lemons and the orange. Put the bowl in the freezer for 1 hour and half. 10 minutes before taking the bowl out of the freeze, wash and cut your baby tomatoes and your green salad leaves. Cut them roughly. Put in the salad bowl with the olive oil, salt and pepper. You can add some freshly chopped coriander leaves. Take the bowl out of the freezer, throw away the juice and add the shrimps to the salad. Mix well.

Enjoy it with a nice and very fresh white bordeaux. Listen to the last album of Boards of Canada.

Then cuddle, go into the bedroom, and enjoy your bodies freely, with passion and curiosity.