Hey everybody...

Here it is....the end of 2007!  I can hardly believe another year has passed us!  I do hope everyone has had a great 2007 and that 2008 will bring you joy and hope, and that your dreams come true, somehow

During the second half of 2007, there were a lot of things that happened around our little homestead here in the wilds of Georgia...the Mister had a life-altering moment with his eye, Thing 1 had several instances where he has shown a great deal of improvement with his hearing and motor skills, as well as trying more communication, and Thing 2 just happens to be the smartest 4 year old in the world....not to mention a heartbreaker!  lol

But one of the things that has been on my mind the most, and one which I have not shared with a lot of people, is a very serious problem I have had with the Catholic Church.  If anyone knows me personally, they know that I am proud to be a Catholic and that I was born and raised in the faith.  I went to Catholic school from 5th through 12th grades and Pope John Paul II and Mother Teresa are both personal heroes of mine.  However, there is one thing that came up in the second half of 2007 that has made me question whether or not I want to continue being Catholic. 

My nephew is a few months younger than Thing 1.  My sister-in-law, my brother's wife, was telling me about how she is starting to look into classes for him to begin First Communion preperations.  Whenever anything comes up with my nephew, school or otherwise, sometimes a little heartbreak happens with us because of the fact that Thing 1 is older, but doesn't communicate and is on such a different level.  And so this got me thinking about HIS First Communion, and I remembered the "policy" of the Church as being that for First Communion readiness, one must express a firm belief that Jesus is present in the Host and express "reverence".  Thing 1 doesn't talk.  He doesn't "express" in the same way as everyone else, not even other kids with Autism.  He is vision and hearing impaired, and although he is making great strides in communication, there is no telling how far away he is from being able to communicate through sign language or verbal language.  Therefore, he wouldn't be able to "express" to someone his beliefs.

I promised when we got married to raise our children Catholic, and to teach them the beliefs of the Church to the best of my ability.  There have been times in the past when I have "gone away" but have always come back as a child comes back to a parent.  And so I wrote to the editor in chief of the Georgia Bulletin, which is the newspaper of the Archdiocese here in Atlanta, asking for insight and for help regarding this dilemma of my little guy potentially not being able to come into full Communion with the Church because he doesn't "talk" in a way that most people would be able to understand. 

She wrote me back, stating that the Council of Archbishops issued a declaration that as long as a child shows "reverence", they don't have to be able to "speak" per se, whether by sign or verbally.  At first, I was encrouraged.  Then I began to think about the implications of this staement.  It is so open to human interpretation....fallable, personal, flawed in so many ways.  But the Church has itself "covered" because of the wide-open statement of "showing reverence".   I say....who are YOU to tell me that my child is or isn't showing reverence, when I know that his actions ARE reverent to the best of his ability.  My mother says to me "don't give up on God", but MY answer is....I have never gievn up on GOD, just the people that run His Church.  I think the answer given to me is a cop-out.  I think it is an injustice to every kid that can't speak for themselves, because even if they are "trapped" in a mind that won't let them speak in one way or another, they are denied full Communion because any given priest may say...."he isn't showing what I think is reverence, and so he may not recieve the Host".

Now, that's not to say that there aren't priests out there who are open-minded and would in fact see T1's own personal brand of "reverence".  I am sure there are....but how am I as his parent to know where they are, and are they even IN this state, let alone in the area where I am or a Church close by to us?  Jesus clearly syas to us in the Bible..."suffer the children unto Me".  But someone's HUMAN interpretation of "reverence" here on Earth may or may not allow my precious boy, and other sweet kids like him, to FULLY recieve Communion with the Church, and to allow him to come to Jesus in the Mass - if they are worried about him spitting out the Host because he doesn't like the taste, all it takes is a tiny tiny piece, which melts instantly in your mouth....and that is still considered FULL Communion.  It feels to me as though my parent would deny him as her grandchild.  The Church is a parent to those of us who are Catholic.  And to have this sorry little answer thrown at us is the same thing to me as saying they deny my child as their grandchild.....unless he can show them someway that he belongs to them.....in *their* opinion....not looking at it through HIS EYES and HIS MIND.  Do you see how selfish that is???? 

And so my mom, in the goodness of her heart, has made an appointment with the one of the local pastors - a Monsignor.  That is pretty high up on the totem pole if you aren't familiar with Church hierarchy. This is tomorrow, Friday, December 28.  I am nervous, sad, angry and hurt all at once, and have been for quite some time every single time I think about this.  I haven't even been able to bring myself to go to Church because it just doesn't feel "right" anymore.  I missed every Mass for Advent, and didn't even go to Midnight Mass as I usually do for Christmas. It feels terrible....I celebrate Jesus in my heart....His miraculous birth....and love the Baby Jesus and His mother Mary.  But I just didn't feel "right" with the HUMAN Church on Earth to bring myself to go.....and that is MY fault I know.

I finally decided to write about all this to you all because if you are Catholic or have some insight that I don't, maybe you could help the situation somehow.  It would also be great if those of you who are able to send some healing Reiki energy our way may find a little time to do that tomorrow morning. 

I will let you all know what happens.  After the first of the year, our family may just become Episcopalian.....jokingly referred to in some ways as "Catholic Lite".  I told my Mom that it is the closest I can come to keeping my promise to raise my kids Catholic, but also to feel "right" about the Church I go to......as far as I know, Episcopalians welcome anyone who comes to the Altar during Communion, and they also believe in the "Real Presence" of Jesus in the Host.

Other than all THIS stuff.....Santa brought Thing 2 EVERYthing he asked for!  The boys had a great Christmas, despite BOTH of them being sick with ear infections over the holiday week.....yuck....and they are both still coughing a good bit, although they are better which is great!  We also go this weekend to visit the Mister's parents in NC for New Year's, so they have even MORE Christmas to come!! 

Anyhow - I probably won't write anything until NEXT YEAR lol!   Which is the reason for the title of this entry.  I truly wish all of you a very happy, healthy, and prosperous New Year....and every blessing that comes with it - and if there are things that get you down, I pray there is something that will lift you up and make it all better....one way or another.  Much LOVE to you all and to your families....Happy New Year!