The London Underground is a strange thing. It brings out the best and the worst in people. For example today there was a lady with a baby and pushchair struggling with stairs. Wanting to play the good samaritan, I helped the lady both up and down several flights of stairs. At the end of this I was worried about some cosmic balance being upset, that I was being too good and that I was in danger of being cannonised and that me being so good would mean somewhere else something evil was happening because of my good deed. So at the end I punched the baby in the face to restore order.



Of course punching babies is wrong, as the parents of Baby P recently discovered. I would never condone child abuse, because it will ultimately lead to a stiff prison sentence and the stigma of being a child abuser,  I would also never condone anyone naming their baby 'P' because its a crap name and will ultimately lead to you child being bullied at school, which indirectly, is a form of child abuse in itself.

It would seem that trains in London are not designed to get you from one place to another but to send you on, but to send you on a mad adventure resulting in lateness, diversions and the infamous rail replacement service. The advantage of being on a rail replacement service is that you get to see the outside world whereas on the underground you would be simply looking out of the window against the wall of a tunnel. The downside is that you are more likely to be involved in a terrorist attack on a bus than in a train, which looks much more spectacular...

Of course, Tunnels are not really worth discussing anymore because they are not interesting when they are not being blown up.

Babies are not really interesting unless they are being abused or have gone missing, and trains are not interesting unless they have been blown up.

This may have something to do with the success of a programme like Top Gear which prides itself on blowing things up. Perhaps the show would appeal more broadly if Jeremy Clarkson was blown up. Viewing figures would probably double.






If I could find a way to blow up this blog it might become more interesting, as it stands I might settle for blowing up a baby. As blowing up blogs can be dangerous.



Say no to babies.