"So Basically, you give us 60 quid as a deposit, which we of course give back to you, IF you do bring those 80 people along to this night that charges a 9 quid entrance fee.... The what?... oh, the Payment... Sure, you get paid 1 pound per head once you get past the 80 people that came to see you... So, you bring 87, you get 7 quid to share amongst yourselves. Whaddya say, are we cool?"

Nope. We aint cool. And the above excerpt is hardly exaggerated.

They dont all do it, but many do. And is it really going to hurt you to stick a dozen Cans of Lager in the fridge for the band? They’re generally livelier onstage when slightly inebriated, dammit.

So please, a bottle and/or a few quid would be highly appreciated... unless of course you’re doing a free entrance gig, in which case, we already like you very much.

Fear and Loathe the Buck-sniffing opportunist.

Love thy friend the music-loving promoter.

Sanjuro