I just processed a new thought. As i was watching MTV's True Life : Im going to rehab..i know(totally random.) But somehow i realized something that might not be 100% accurate but ..has some value to me and reason to make note of it. I've noticed a lot of my time lately has gone to what i need 2 figure out about myself and feelings, sorta down lately like all the time. Looking back at past events, especially having to do with family life, and i've been questioning: Why am i in this situation? feeling down about myself , sorry for myself..telling myself "my family life was hard", "things were difficult." Which they were at there moments. But in all reality, which family doesn't have those moments, these were just my family's issues. Something ive learned and i think i knew but am really grasping right now is that, you choose how to handle what's going on in your life. You choose to make it better or make it worse. And people can tell you that all your life but until you choose to really understand it is when you really get it. I've been hearing so many people (as well as myself) lately complaining so much about this and that and what's bringing them down in this life. Certain events yes have a huge impact on you that takes time to overcome. But any situation can be overcome if you really want it to. As someone really important to me once said to me in a time of need.."As long as you've been feeling a certain way or been putting yourself through situations to make you feel that way, is most likely going to take you just as long or longer to work it out." Yes that's true but the more you dedicate yourself to working your situations out the faster it will be. Sometimes you just need to look at yourself and instead of pointing the finger at everybody else and blaming them for your position..point that finger back at yourself and face that your responsible for how you are feeling and no one is to blame for your own actions and choices but you essentially. So i came to the idea that, ok i've been trying 2 blame certain people in my life for the way im feeling right now, especially family and some old friends, but realistically, i put myself in every situation i've gone through. In a lot of the situations, it was my fault. Through a lot of lying and bullshit. It's time to turn over a new leaf and living life with a smile and moving ahead finally. And to make note. A lot of people come in and out of your life. Yes a lot of them are there for short periods of time and long periods, people who help you learn lessons and make memories with. People fukk you over. People constantly come and go throughout your life. Make sure that you keep the ones most important, those ones that you have the best memories and times with. Just when you think they're disposable, they're really not. So just make sure you are making wise decisions about those people you are so quick to drop because those people could be those ones that will have your back in the drop of a hat, No matter what you're dealing with, No matter how many times you've fukked them too, No matter how much pity you put on yourself and excuses you make. Open your eyes and just make sure your making the right decision.  Because in the end, you will need that person by your side. Again, make the right choice about who you choose to be in your life, people who bring you up. Be Positive about all aspects in life, look at the brightside. There are so many things in this life to enjoy and be greatful for. Drop the negative bullshit, get ova ya self and move on, cuz it doesnt bring u anywhere but down, and distant. A thought....

( Random but w/e it's something that i feel needs 2 be said maybe just for me but hey, if u can grasp anything from it then i'm happy :-)