Im having questions and concerns about what's goin on in my life as far a religion.

As most of you know my mother is a devout christian minister with hippie tendencies so conviction is everpresent in my day to day living. I know there is a god and i know he is powerful and almighty. I believe in the bible and blah blah blaze skip.  Nowadays im having a very big problem with the whole "your going to hell because your gay" thing. 

I've said it before during many of my conversations with friends, religion is somthing that evolves out of a social interaction and interpetation of what god is to a certain tribe or group of people. I cannot hate on some african praising god by pop lockin in the jungle just as i can't hate on a buddist meditating. If there is only one god  and everyone in each religion feels this way then you cannot possibly tell somebody that they are wrong just because they believe in somthing as simple as karma as opposed to believe in jesus.

Then on top of it all......im gay. So many a christian will argue me DOWN with bible this, bible that and tell me things like,  i did in fact choose and why im going to hell. The bible says it.   This in fact is the same bible that slave owners used as a testament  to why my people, black folks should be kept in slavery. The bible said that too.   Also there is the whole decendants of ham thing that follows people of my skin color around. We are damned from birth, dark, light, whoever if you have color in your blood then your cursed.  So it's almost like saying to me "gee you were fucked to begin with". On top of it all........my moms a minister, and black but depending on who youask she's dammned.  It all doesn't make sense.

None of us have the answers to these questions which is where religion comes from to begin with. You choose which one you like the most, or your born into it. The only person that has the answers is god.

I KNOW there is a god. i KNOW he is real. i KNOW there is a holy spirit. I have felt his presence. So what's wrong with me? I  don't know about you but I have a problem with somebody telling me that im damned for being alive. There is no way that my whole point of being here on this earth was to serve as mindless filler, im worth too much.  How can a mere MAN tell me that im going to hell for somthing as simple as how he read somthing in a fucking book? A FUCKING BOOK? not to discredit the bible and not to be blasphemous but A FUCKING BOOK???? A book that has more versions and meanings than a delusional dead mans diary.

You have to think about the seriousness of this stuff . 

1)i am gay so im just all together WRONG and need to be destroyed or repent and be.....straight.  And i tried it and trust me....it was a mess.

2)i am black so im just fucked. no question.....just fucked. might as well just slit my wrist and pay the situation cause it's over for me.

wtf? Not to mention this ain't cartoons we are talking about, this is me a human being. IM ALIVE AND THINIKING AND EATING AND DRINKIN AN SHIT. how can this be? maybe somebody needs to WRITE a new BOOK. shit.