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Last night I had a dream that I was in a forest with a
slightly older woman with long blond hair. I believe she was one of my guides. We were sitting by a small, shallow,
trickling stream, and it was autumn.
There were maple leaves and maple seeds (we used to call them
helicopters when we were kids because when they fall from the tree through the
air they spiral and swirl around like helicopters) all over the forest
floor.
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We were watching a colony of ants working vigorously to fill
the stream bed with the maple leaves and helicopters. Two big groups of them, in unified choreography, would
scatter into the woods, empty handed, then return all at once, in synchrony,
each carrying a leaf or helicopter.
Then the two groups would descend to the stream from two different
angles, and all at once, place their bounty in the trickling stream.
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Gradually the leaves and helicopters completely blanketed
the stream, and a small pond began to form upstream from the blockages the ants
were creating. I asked the ants
why they were doing this. They
replied that they were helping to form the pond so that when it would ice over,
the frogs, and fish would have a safe place to hibernate for the winter.
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I was touched by this selfless service being performed by
the colony of ants for the benefit of the other forest creatures.
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Then the woman I was with brought my attention to a
beautiful old tree that was covered with bright green moss. It was stumpy- the thick trunk only
about 6 feet high before branching out into many smaller, slender, twisting
branches. The trunk and all the branches leaned away from us at a soft angle,
giving the tree a strong presence of being heavily rooted here in this forest,
and, at the same time, drifting up into other realms.
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Indeed, the tree was a sentinel, guarding the heart of the
faerie realm that was all around us.
I did not see any faeries, but I felt their presence and the magical
powers of the tree.
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By now, it was getting dark, and a full moon was rising in
the forest. I was in a sandbox
with another guide, a shorter woman with red hair. She may have been a variation of the Faerie Queen who
visited me once in another dream, for she had very similar energy. I had with me my “E” tuned crystal
bowl.
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I held the crystal bowl up to the moonlight and I was
startled to see it appear to be transparent, clear crystal. With the moonlight shining through it I
could see some small crystals and pieces of crystal embedded into the bowl-
still intact from the casting process when it was made.
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I was excited at this revelation and went to show the
woman. When I held the crystal
bowl up to the moonlight again I noticed many hairline fractures like
starbursts all over the crystal.
They were all impact damage from people hitting the bowl too hard, and I
realized I needed to take more care when allowing other people to handle the
bowls.
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I saw one crack running almost the entire length of the
bowl, bisecting it into equal halves.
No sooner did I notice this that the bowl split in two in my hands.
I didn’t get upset at the loss, because I knew there was
always a significant reason for a bowl to break. In doing so, the bowl releases a massive amount of stored
energy. So I figured I really
needed the energy for my Solar Plexus, because that is the chakra that
particular bowl corresponds with.
I also noted the symbolism of the equal halves- evidence of duality, and
thought back to my present emotional situation where I am trying to discern my emotional
truth involving two different people who are very close to my heart.
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Suddenly, the two halves broke into smaller shards. My first impulse was to bury them in
the pond, but I didn’t want to risk the sharp edges hurting anyone by accident
in the future. So the woman, along
with my sister who suddenly appeared, helped me gather up the shards in a
cardboard box, along with a couple odd-looking very small, hand-held devices,
and carry them out of the forest.
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Yesterday I had a Quantic Healing Session with a woman who
recognized me from a past life.
She had a few messages for me afterward. One of them was that I have an African Orisha Diety with
me.
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I looked up Orishas on the internet, and through muscle
testing determined that the particular one who is currently with me is
“Eshu.” Wikipedia writes: Eshu
is a god of Chaos and Trickery,
and plays frequently tempting choices for the purpose of causing maturation. He
is a difficult teacher, but a good one.
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I won’t go into the details, but this is exactly what I am
facing at this moment.
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Eshu is also “the messenger between the human and divine
worlds, god of duality, crossroads and beginnings, and also a phallic and
fertility god (a god of Life) and the deliverer of souls to the underworld (a
god of Death).” –wikipedia
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Sounds about right.
It seems Eshu is here to usher me through the next phase in my
incarnation. Saturn is just about
done with me, finishing up with a last hurrah through its “return,” and I feel
naked in my convictions about myself and the possible futures I can
create.
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I am frustrated with the paradox of living in the now while
intentionally shaping the future.
I am always receiving pressure from outside sources to “plan” and
“decide” for the future. But I
have never really been interested in doing so. . It seems the key to co-creation is not found in just letting
go and living in the now. I am
beginning to see that I must take an active role in shaping my own destiny, eve
if it is already written…
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As a creator-being, I must visualize. I must imagine the next “now” as I want
it to be. I must shape it through
orchestration, and I must conduct.
I must breathe the world into being every moment, otherwise I will just
be the air in the lungs of another.
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I temporarily forgot that there is no right and wrong
decision. I got caught up in
another tricky dualistic poopie-hole.
Fear of making the wrong choice began to create friction in my flow,
dragging me down to a still inertia, away from the velocity of my inner truth.
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Today, after a long yoga session with my body, I began to
tone with the “E” Bowl from my dream last night. I intended to reconnect my Authentic Self with my Higher
Self, and create a harmonious union of the two. I also asked to reawaken my heart center because I felt a
sheet of transparent glass blocking me from fully accessing and expressing it
for a long time now.
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The vocal meditation was very powerful and took me to many
places of joy and power. I cried,
I coughed, and I received a gigantic multi-faceted diamond jewel from a group
of my beloved guides. I felt all
of my guides, from all the different places I have guides from, showering me
with love and light, and I remembered that I am not alone. The angels rejoiced, the Hathors
rejoiced, the Ascended Masters rejoiced, the Ancestors rejoiced, and I
rejoiced.
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After the sonic meditation was complete, I became aware of a
wedge-like gap in my aura, coming down at a steep angle from my left side into
my heart. I used energy healing
and sound to seal it up. When it
was almost complete, a not-good Reptilian Presence appeared and tried to resist
my self-healing work. I began to
channel a strange language that I can only equate with “Parsel-Tounge” from the
Harry Potter tales. This seemed to
work, as I banished the Reptilian with love.
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Then I felt more balanced, and closer to my heart once
again. I still felt a little bit
of a disconnected, but realized that I must have been believing there to be one
for me to have that experience. So
I rejected that silly belief, and began to believe that I am perfectly in touch
with my heart. The energy shifted,
and I felt fully connected with my heart.
And so it was, and so it is, and so it will be.
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