Philadelphia - The American Independence movement came to an end today as delegates were unable to voice any opinions or have any rational debate to unruly crowds shouting down the speakers. The crowds were reported to be funded by the British but claim to be grassroots organizations.
Thomas Jefferson of Virginia lamented the end of the Independence movement, "We wanted to create a country where all voices could be heard, a civil country governed by rational ideas and healthy debate where..." Mr. Jefferson was then shouted down by cries of "Tyranny" "Socialism" and "Nazi"
The spokesman for the protesters, a Mr. Loy A. Liste stated, "We're just ordinary Americans who want to have our voices heard. The tyranny here is people trying to have their voices heard when we're shouting all the time. Enough of the tryanny of these 'founding fathers' lets make sure they're never heard again. The fact that we're angry proves we're right. Long live King George! Down with Tyranny!"
News reports have traced Mr. Liste's organization People who love Freedom and Puppies and Babies to funds coming from Britain, although this was denied by the group's chair, General Cornwallis, "These are just ordinary colonists speaking their mind. Don't listen to 'polls' and 'elections' that say they're a minority, the fact that they're loud and angry proves they're right. This isn't mob rule, it's democracy and freedom. We'll be taking our private citizens on our grass roots vessel, HMS King George III to spread the word of freedom, along with our friends who like to wear read coats."
In the end the angry loyalists were able to protect themselves from the tryanny of having to listen to ideas they didn't like. A truly great day for freedom.