Washington - Leading conservatives today issued a blanket apology for berating protesters over the last several decades. The sheer delight conservatives have taken in the August 2009 Town Hall protests led to a complete reversal of values for most conservatives.
Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh released this joint statement, "Previously we referred to all protesters as crazy hippies. We now believe that the louder and more disruptive a protest is, the more legitimate your cause is. Protesting is a great symbol of freedom and should be encouraged."
Glenn Beck also spoke out, "This country loves dissent, I applaud anyone who has the courage to make your voice heard. To all the Anti-war protesters of the last eight years, I apologize, you guys are real heroes. I can't believe the President didn't automatically change policies once he heard there were angry protests by a strongly vocal minority. Maybe if you all had been armed it would have been better."
Pat Buchanan issued an apology on behalf of the entire Nixon administration, "We called you crazy hippies and told you to get a job, said you threatened the country. Now I think you're all great Americans and can't believe we didn't listen to you. You should have been louder and brought guns, that would have made it all better."
The Republican Party released this statement, "This is not hypocrisy. We're merely flexible in changing times. There's now nothing we love more than an angry protester. Just as we changed our minds about maritial fidelity in between Bill Clinton and all the sex scandals of the last few years. We embrace change. Since January 20, 2009 we now find deficits unnacceptable and don't believe anyone has a duty to support the President in time of war. We also don't think the office of the President has to be respected at all. See, we're just flexible."