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It's curious. Since changing my middle name (temporarily) to monoplegic (a term for one who suffers writers block), I have found it harder to write things. I think I'll change it to 'prolific' in the near future. Or maybe 'winsome'. I've always strived to be more winsome.
In Brighton over the weekend, I saw a man give a busker a pie. A good sized, shortcrust pastry pie. The busker had stop playing because it seemed that he really didn't want a pie. He tried to return it to the man, but the man was having none of it, pretty put out that his charity was scorned.
I was tempted to go back the next day to see if the busker had put up a sign behind him saying 'no pies please'. Maybe he prefered flan. To be fair it had been a very hot day, and sometimes if you're hot and bothered having a pie foisted upon you can tip you over the edge.
I myself would happily busk for pie alone.
On my way home (in the car) I was low on petrol, and it was getting desperate. You get to the point where your driving is actually more dangerous because you're watching the petrol gague more than the road.
The first petrol station I came across was run by Waitrose. I didn't even know they'd branched out into petrol. Anyway, I thought I'd give my car a real treat and fill up on Waitrose petrol (sounds generous on my part but the truth was it was that or nothing). Putting in a full tank, I think I actually doubled the value of my car there and then. I think it would have been cheaper to fill it with extra-virgin olive oil.
Still, it was a treat moment for my car, and as I inserted the nozzle it felt alarmingly as if I was making love to my vehicle. Afterwards I sat back and lit a cigarette, then put it out immediately because, well, there's not a worse place to do that than on the garage forecourt.
Unsatisfying for me. And I had to stand in the wet patch.
Apart from that, I'm doing little other than shitting my knickers about doing an Edinburgh show. People keep telling me to just try to enjoy it. I keep telling them to fuck off. Charming, tolerant and above all else erudite.
1:47 PM
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