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Beattie



Last Updated: 2/21/2008

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Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 32
State: Indiana
Tuesday, February 19, 2008 

Current mood:  amused
Category: Life
I do not know about you, but I am a major dork and I am totally fine with that. Isn't it funny how when you are in Jr. High and High School and maybe even college and beyond that you are trying to prove to everyone around you, including yourself, that you are cool and desirable?
I have known for a long time that I am a dork, and I truly am not trying to impress anyone. There is so much freedom when you get to the point where you accept yourself and your life. Now are there times when I wish some things were different? Sure, but for the most part that is just how life rolls, and the cool place that God brought me too.

I still battle with issues of self worth, but do you ever really get over that? I do not know maybe you do...I just have not discovered that secret yet.
Could I be cooler? Maybe, but do I want to put myself through the work of that? If my family and friends already love me, then what does it really matter?

Years ago when I was in high school and college I had an eating disorder, and life evolved around food...or best what I could and could not eat and how many calories I was consuming and how many calories I was burning off. Sure I was skinny.....really skinny, but it was SUCH a hassle and so exceedingly overwhelming to be obsessed with food. I prayed for deliverance from that, and thankfully I was released from that horrible bondage. Now I just eat and do not stress myself out about it...it is so very freeing! I will not deny that I have some extra weight I could stand to lose and I could be in better physical condition, but I no longer hold that burden of NEEDING to weigh less than 115lbs over me. It is very beautiful!

I probably have other burdens that I need deliverance from....worry/stressing about the unknown would be one of them. Maybe I need to make that one of my focuses this year....just letting go of one more crazy weight on my shoulders. You know Christ told me He would carry it all....I just need to let Him. It is so funny how we hold on to our burdens. I am not sure why, but I know I definitely do.

Ha....I started talking about being a dork and finished up talking about burdens....I guess I really am a dork! ;-)

Hope you are all well and happy and blessed.....talk with you soon.
3:26 AM
 
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