We all got pet peeves whether we call them that or something else. Here are a few of mine...some less serious than others, but nevertheless stuff that has the POTENTIAL to drive me bonkers. I confess now to being partially cookoo:
1. People crunching on hard candy. I.e. peppermints, jolly ranchers, etc....I mean..Why? You cant just suck it down like the rest of us? I know one girl who will literally hold a large bag of starlight mints and EAT....no, MANGLE them like popcorn, popping in one after another.....that sounds makes my teeth itch.
2. Fake people. Self explanatory.
3. Flip Flops in winter. Why? We know u got a pedicure.
4. People driving in overdrive for no reason. Why?
5. When people perpetuate myths & urban legends w/o taking the time out to research for themselves. I.e. someone once told me they 'heard' if you have a heavy key chain(s) attached to ur car keys while its in the ignition, it could mess up your transmission. HUH?
6. Irrational thinkers. Someone made someone I know remove their purse from the dash of the car because they said if they got into an accident their purse would fly one direction and their body would fly another and the police wont be able to identify you.....who said?
7. When people beat around the bush. A waiter came and asked if we were done w/our "receipts" aka tip slips. He claims he wanted to know so he could start cleaning off the table....No, u wanna know how much money we left you. And thats exactly what I told him.
8. When people order off the dollar menu..just like that: "I'd like the dollar fry and a dollar drink" Just sounding BROKE! LOL...Try: "I'll take a value fry and a small drink." Call it what they call it on the menu to keep your business your business!
9. "Reply All" on emails: Please dont respond to one person, but reply to 50 other people. I dont need to read, "Thanks Sylvia for your email." Just send it back to Sylvia for goodness sakes!
10. The unoffical boss: If your job title is the same as mine dont try to tell me what to do like yours says supervisor or manager. You can give me advice, but keep your tone pleasant.
11. Stop putting your crinkled, old and dingy dollar bill in a tithe envelope. The envelope cost more than the offering. And while I do not discourage giving the dollar--I dont think u need an envelope for that. EVERYTHING doesnt have to be on record.
12. Peek-a-boo on altar: If you have fallen out at the altar, but u have energy and are cohearrant enough to peek out the side of your eye to see if we're looking at you--you're done here....the Lord has done his work and I need you to start heading back to your seat.
13. Halter tops at church and anything showing Clevage, Ohio at church.
14. Making box macaronni and trying to make it like homemade...there is no need to BAKE that in my book.
15. When people leave stuff like a plate full of chicken w/flour that they were too lazy to finish cooking just sitting OUT in the fridge. HUH?
16. When the waiter says, "Do you need change back?" Partner, I gave you a twenty....my bill was only eight dollars!
17. When people try to slight-match their clothes. We know that your red dollar store sandals w/the flower on top does NOT go with your fuschia pink tank top--we see you.
18. When big people always try to act like they're not hungry or don't eat that much. Again, we can see you. I knew someone who said they didnt eat red or orange popsickles.....THEY ALL TASTE THE SAME.....but by the end of the day they kept saying, "pass me a pop sickle." Same person said they didnt eat chicken thighs, but tore a whole in the KFC box of chicken; wrestling for the last THIGH!
19. Sleep Rules: I have door issues. I need all doors that I can see from my bedroom CLOSED...including extra bedroom(s) and closets. I also need my bed atleast semi-made up and those pillows fluffed. Also, please dont sleep in my bed cause I get an attitude going to sleep smelling someone else.
20. Small Print: Big sign says "Save 75% today only" so you do a U-turn and run into the store only to find out in 2pt font they wrote "up to" Save up to 75% today only"
21. Shirts tucked in w/large bellies.....why draw more attention? And where is your belt? And speaking of belts....ladies....if you're gonna wear a belt...it needs to be seen in the back as well.
22. Body odor....no need for it! There is soft soap and water even at McDonalds bathroom and Macy's has mad test bottles.....if we smell you....you know you smell yourself.
23. When people model walk in the public.....i.e. the mall. Stop it... this is not a Chanel runway....why are you stomping down the food court?
24. People who always say they can't pick u up or make events because of their lack of gas or their vehicle needs maintainance. You had enough gas when you wanted a big mac! And if you can go 50mph on the beltline you can surely go 65mph on the xway.
25. When people squeeeze into smallest spots...i.e. THIS is a loveseat--developed for two persons...why oh why art tho attempting to squeeze yourself on this loveseat....grab a chunk of that carpet.
26. OH here is a good one: McDonalds---Now the filet o fish already comes w/a half slice of cheese...so if I order extra cheese at 20 cents a slice..how much total cheese should my sandwich have? Anyone who took elementary math knows 1/2 +1 = 1 1/2 -- well McDonalds will only give you a whole slice of cheese if u order extra cheese...WHERE is my 1/2 of slice that was complimentary. Either give me my 1/2 slice or only chaarge me 10 cents dog gone it! LOL...Now, I'm fed up!
27. Telling stories: When your giving a narrative.....tell me what I need to know thats relevant to todays point. When you start off a story saying "It all started when I was 7 years old" and your 42 now....I'm already tuning you out. You really expect me to listen to 35 years of chaos thats occurred since then? Not gonna do it! LOL..
28. Panhandlers: We've all been down and out. I've not had a dollar to my name...but the panhandlers are getting down right bold. I went to Chicken Coop a few days ago and a man was EATING at the counter..even had hot sauce on his food. He looked over at me and said, "let me have a dollar man." i said, "Excuse me?!" You're eating already...u give ME a dollar.
Once my cousin encountered a panhandler who only wanted a mere quarter...she, in jest, said "Oh, I love quarters, you're gonna give me a quarter?" He asked again and she again said the same thing, this time w/more delight as if she was getting a quarter. Fed up, the panhandler said, "Hun, I dont think you get it....I'M begging" LOL as he bicycled away; quarterless.
29. When people's feet drag onthe ground when wearing sandals. You dont feel that? You dont see that your feet are literally turning gray and blistered. Here's my advice: Just once size bigger. Maybe even a half. It'll save you some embarassment and make your nail techs job a whole lot easier.
30. Lastly, when people think you're upset when your not. Being misunderstood period! Especially when they keep asking, "Whats wrong? Whats wrong? Are you mad? Are you ok?" If u keep ASKING me then yea, I'm going to get ticked off, but I'm fine....Can I have a quiet moment. Give me 3 feet for a second.
These are just a few of mine......well, thirty of em.....Funny how when you start thinking about them stuff just unravels...LOL....
I'm out.
-Smith