I guess I'll never know. There are things that you want, things that you thought you would never ever want, not in a million years. Its like someone flips a switch and bam! You're having a panic attack in the middle of an empty field of dreams. Everything you disliked, everything you loathed became the only reason you want to wake up and live everyday.
You make reasons, you make excuses, find ways to avoid it. But its no good. Your running out of reasons, running out of excuses. You will have to live the rest of your life being the hypocrite you thought you'd never be.
But because of certain circumstances... You'll never have those things. You'll never know what it feels like to be a practicing hypocrite. You'll want, you'll need, you'll watch... From afar. As the one thing you used to hate, become the one thing you truly love.