I just finished a 10 day trip away from home. I've been to Las Vegas, Chicago, and then New York City. I'm finally heading home to LA and I am very happy about that. The trip was good, but it's even nicer to be going home.

There have been a lot of things on my mind lately. I just shot a video for Hot House and another one for Jett Black, but despite that I've been debating about possibly 'retiring' at the end of this year. In some ways, I'm just now starting to get known. But in others, I'm wondering if it's taking a toll on my life. Everything I've done has been a choice that I've made, but I'm starting to think that it may be time to move towards something else.

Now, for those of you who don't know, I do have a daytime job which I truly enjoy. I do marketing, something I've done for years, long before porn, and which I am not only good at but I have my MBA in marketing. Now that doesn't mean I need to, or even want to, stay in that field forever, but for the near future it's what I plan to do. The porn has been fun much of the time, but at the same time, I think its limited me in some ways, particularly in finding a relationship.

I have to be frank, many guys love the idea of fucking a pornstar but many couldn't imagine dating one. We're not 'mother friendly' so to speak. And while there are those who might consider 'dating' a pornstar for a while, the reality is that many guys, even those that are comfortable with it being something in your past, don't necessarily want someone who is actively doing porn. Now I could argue that it's just work, which it is, but that doesn't change the way someone feels. So unless I want to date someone else in porn, my options seem someone limited. I would certainly consider dating someone in porn, but with such a small group of people out there who do that, it's much harder to come by. And unless they have someone else going on for themselves, I also find I have little in common with them. So, for all those reasons, and more, I feel like my side job is preventing me from having a full-on relationship. Add into the mix that I travel a lot and meeting people becomes another big issue. It's hard to meet and date someone when you're gone 2-3 weekends out of the month.

For those of you who care, done worry, I haven't decided to give it all up yet, but it's definitely been on my mind a lot, and I'm sure will be for some time. I have several trips planned in the next few weeks, so nothing is likely to change anytime soon, but if you know of someone hot and porn friendly….pass him my way. ;)