I may be known as a dreamer, but I rarely remember my dreams....rarely, meaning I could count the ones.....

Brenda,
Last night you were in my dream, actually just this morning and Laura too...so was Brigi...we were at a fair or carnival and all had these booths to manage...you broke your foot, there were cars involved and I was worried....and then you and all the ladies would be laughing in a giant van and I had to man my taco stand, kept trying to clean it so I could come give you all a hug...but it never was perfect.  It was the weirdest feeling.  There was a lot of generosity...I think earlier in the dream I was running a successful booth of food but I didn't think anything of it...then, I had this new one and I couldn't set it up right, then it couldn't have been more perfect, it was just PERFECT....just two choices and welcoming, but I just wanted to leave it and go talk to see everyone to make sure they were ok.  I asked someone to watch my booth, even though no one was coming.  My fears of missing my chance overrode my ability to live in the moment with those I care about...hmmmmmm 

Then I woke up.

I never remember my dreams.  But last night I did.  I even remembered a dream and still do from two days ago.  Only this one was about the love that may not be mentioned, the muse to "Alive and Screaming"...and you know what?  It was a forgiveness dream.  It was beautiful.  We were in our old little house and it was light like we were in heaven (or some dreamy place) and the whole dream was us, dare I say, frolicking around.  We spoke the unspoken and yet didn't fight.  It was as if we floated through each room, forgiving each other and feeling the most intense love I never even knew existed.  The dream was short, but I remember waking, warm, stronger than I have felt in months.

How bout that...

Just now I took a nap....I love naps especially after I know I composed something of worth.  In fact...this is so embarrassing, after all i am a MAN!!  I am an emotional man, yes, but rarely a crier.  Most of my tears are shed alone at a piano in those rare moments I get lost, lost in my sorrow and joy, lost in the literal sound of the music that has haunted me for longer than I can remember.  In those rare moments a song I may have been working on for a year suddenly hits home, comes into true focus and speaks its truth...and I remember...I remember why.  And a release along with a hope spring from those tears, tears of happiness and understanding that for a moment is mine and mine alone.

About that nap.  I dreamed as the sun went to sleep alongside me and I remember a moment of that dream.  I was sitting on a bench with the sun setting behind a young woman.  I turned to someone next to me and said "This is my sister Katie"....the girl smiled and then I turned to see next to her my real sister.  She said, "No Jake, I'm Katie" and I looked between the two of them and I suddenly realized they both looked like Katie, but one was her today and one was the one I guess I imagined her to be all these years of missing her sitting across from me at a picnic table.

To all those traveling near and far this week for the concert on Saturday....be safe...can you feel my heart beating fast?  Do you know how honored I am?
You will.

Peace, be you, Jake



P.S.....just so I will have them forever, as I cherish each and every one of your words, please leave any comments or words on wisdom @ www.jakewalden.com/blog
You just never know about myspace, and I hate to think about losing your thoughts...