9
 

That's one that sends a chill through me, I must admit; Alzheimer's disease probably isn't as funny as Frank Butcher's mum on EastEnders led us to believe lo, those many years ago.  We are after a Top 3 from each of you, though - if you can't be bothered to do the full countdown...
A note of comfort, however: you seem a long way away from that sort of decay, Chunkelah; fiercely, savagely, alert, with a mind like a steel trap closing upon the fleeing poacher of Ignorance, is how you've always struck me,
Foxy
 

well that is highly refreshing to hear Foxy and I thank you!

so number 9 being the first...

8 - would scare the bejeezuz outta me, but I DO seem to be fascinated by "urban apocalypse" style movies and books and would quite like to see how well I would react to an "end of days" style scenario... Probably make brown mess in my kegs and die quite brutally...

Surely 2 and 6 are one and the same? ;) (but in all seriousness I am VERY lucky to have hit 25 and not lost a single person I care deeply for... can't exactly say i am relishing the thought of that approaching day)


 

Tricky call, those pilgrim hats iin option 4 are really unfashionable, I was going to pick option 9 as being the most scary, but as i'm only in my 20's by the time I hit the age where I have to be worrying about those problems i'm pretty sure medical science will have cures for alzheimers, dementia, arthritus, etc etc even probably death. So we'll be immortal by that point which I think would be hell as it would probably get quite boring, triggering off mass suicides as people cant make up their mind what to fill their time with.  So with that said, I'm going to pick option 6.  Because if I am going to live forever i'd like to make sure I can nag my husband for all my days.
 

It appears that we have a new contender: eternal life is a horrifying prospect when you think about it.  When I was just a little tiny Silver Fox, I used to have a recurring dream about never being able to die - like Captain Jack off of Torchwood without the bisexual vibe, I suppose.  It used to torment me; I'd imagine the world ending and disintegrating, leaving me floating, alone and indestructable, through space forever and ever.  On bleaker days, I'm not sure that hasn't happened, to be frank - only the presence of Muzak in supermarkets provides any reassurance that there is some sort of life...
Our thoughts go out to Mr Jammie Sammie, by the way; that's quite an eternity he's got in store...
 

my biggest fear at the moment is cracktown- what are they doing with this information they are harvesting? and i say harvesting deliberately, knowing full well its darker meaning. people! dont give cracktown your thoughts lest they have found some
 

monstrous way of feeding on the increased brain activity their seemingly innocent questions provoke...visions of some sort of despotic uber cracktown, minds grown fat on synapse sparks, running amok spring to mind...it happened in the bible...think on...
 

 

Well, numbas 2, 3, 6, and 9 hav either happened to me already, or i am experiencing them now. Numba 1 is a non-starter: 7, not a chance-unless the aliens settled here afta theyd assaulted us, and 10 doesnt worry me in the least! however, the following three scenarios hav not cropped up in my life yet so i am shit scared of them:-numbas 4, 5, and 8 in that order (4 being the top terror).
 

The "death of someone close" thing seems to have struck something of a note, does it not?  What a sentimental crew you are, cats and kittens.  It's the right spirit, obviously, and it indicates that even in these debased times of instant gratification and social dilletantism, genuine personal attachments can still flourish - either that, or Hallmark et al have brainwashed us all so thoroughly that we feel impelled to espouse closeness to at least one other person lest we be perceived as something akin to a Cyberman.
The nervousness that some seem to feel regarding the establishment of a repressive Christian society is also encouraging; even though in at least one case it seems to be entirely based on an edginess concerning unflattering millinery...
 

 

Quite so; the fears of the rich will always be different from their poorer counterparts (all of us reading this, I'm guessing), so its unsurprising that No 9 is making such a strong showing.  The monied classes would doubtless place No.1 quite high up their lists, as they have the time and coin to spend on media-fuelled hypochondria - although any anxiety would tend to be offset by the casual assumption common to the Ruling Classes that they're somehow untouchable; that tomorrow belongs to them.
I'll tell you something, cats and kittens - even at the risk of jeopardising the strictly scientific objectivity of this exercise - I'm dashed glad we're not called upon to deal with the views of those self-serving, overstuffed cunts, and that's a fact...
 

2 and 6 in equal measures.

1) Swine flu is unpleasant, but most people recover from it well enough.
3) More people die by accidentally decorating in the nude with their rectums greased up with swarfiga and falling off a stepladder arse first onto a candlestick than die through terrorist acts.
4) I'd quite enjoy being an underground atheist freedom fighter. I'd finally get to kill neocons and religious fanatics.
5) All you need is a shotgun, lots of cartridges, a machine gun, an old vinyl collection, and a car, and you're sorted.
7) See 4)
8) But at least we'd know we were not alone.
9) That almost made my shortlist. I value my mind, and losing it is one of my great fears.
10) I think I'd be able to get away with lamping the grinning cunt of a presenter the instant he makes his presence felt on the grounds of provocation. That alone would be worth it. Because that clip would then make it onto the never ending stream of 'bloopers' type shows and I'd demand royalties.

 

Reading between the lines, one detects a sense of malaise that would seem to be almost endemic nowadays: perhaps our modern-day technocratic convenience-culture is leaving us unsatisfied on some level, and needing an outlet for some basic human desire for conflict, excitement, and what-have-you.  That people appear to relish the prospect of zombies/aliens/neo-nazis, roaming the streets surely proves that internet porn and televised cricket just isn't doing it for people anymore.
Do remember though: number 6 is far more likely to happen in the event of an extra-terrestrial incursion, or when the world disgorges its contents of putrefying humanity...It's swings and roundabouts, is what it is.
 

I freely admit to a bone-deep malaise with modern society that will probably only ever be briefly driven back by emptying a minigun into a crowd of braying, bellowing football cunts. I don't really want aliens to invade or the streets to be filled with the shambling undead (though it's debatable that this latter has not already happened some time ago when one sees the hordes of blank-faced proles with eyes deader than Paris Hilton's shuffling through town every day), but it's also not very likely to happen, unlike the spectre of losing a loved one or becoming senile, which are very real threats.

Neither internet porn or televised cricket did anything for me to begin with; one is just a load of sweating, ridiculous bodies and vigorously bouncing balls, the other is just porn. I prefer shooting people's faces off on hyper-violent computer games like Soldier of Fortune II - an old game, but you get to see very accurate exit wounds on the corpses. And you can blow people's arms and legs off with the shotgun, which is well worth the entry fee. I just like to imagine that I'm wandering down Princes Ave on a Saturday night whilst racking up the body count.

 

 

6 AND 10. 9 has already happened and pretty much describes my daily routine.
 

If that's true, then the edge would be taken off of both the other anxieties to which you refer, surely?  Were your mental faculties a bit on the "in-and-out" side, you'd probably forget that the loved one had passed on, and put their absence down to them nipping out to buy crisps before forgetting them altogether; and should a TV prankster attempt to enmesh you in his/her web of deceit, you'd almost certainly fail to follow the complex thread of their little game and just accept it as another part of your baffling day-to-day round - finding keys in the fridge, thinking the radio is God talking to you, etc.
The demise of somebody close is a toughie, though; more so if you're obliged to do a eulogy. I had to say a few words at my Grandmater's funeral, and I ended up riffing on the nature of the enduring marital happiness she shared with Grandpapa, illustrating it with an anecdote about the application of haemherroid cream.
Best Funeral Ever.
 

number 9!!!!
My grandad had

Alzheimer’s and for one of his birthdays we took him on a flight in a massive chinook helecopter, he used to get his binoculars out everytime a helecopter flew over his back garden (untill he forgot where he left them).  He was gone for 45 mins riding on the helecopter and when he got back we said "how was it" and he replied "how was what?"

number nine made me laugh.