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The Stiles Files A Daily Monologue from Mike Stiles

Mike Stiles

Mike Stiles


Last Updated: 12/14/2009

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City: Atlanta
State: Georgia
Country: US
Signup Date: 5/12/2006
Monday, December 03, 2007 

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Airbus signed contracts to sell 160 commercial passenger jets to China in a deal worth $14.8 billion.  Plus, it was a good way to use up all our leftover lead paint, which they don't seem to mind so much over there.

Beauty pageant organizers in Puerto Rico want to know who laced a contestant's evening gowns and makeup with pepper spray, causing her to break out in hives...which fortunately, the judges thought was her talent.

Sci-Fi Channel is doing a new version of the Wizard of Oz.  Dorothy's a disaffected, motorcycle-riding waitress, and Toto is a creature that changes his appearance and position at will.  No truth to the rumor Hillary Clinton served as an advisor.

A study found school lunch sales don't go down when healthier meals are served, and that more nutritious lunches don't cost schools more to make.  But, to make the kids more comfortable, they're called "Happy Lunches" and are served by lunch ladies dressed as clowns.

Wil and Kin Shriner found 400 vintage harmonicas in their dad's warehouse.  He was a famous harmonica player on radio and TV.  Now they want to send them to soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Other than the accordion, military experts could not come up with a gift more likely to drive enemy forces screaming for the hills.

Miley Cyrus turned 15 but like so many other girls around the country, was not able to get or afford what she wanted for her birthday, Hannah Montana tickets.

Fox is starting to promote "The Moment of Truth," a controversial game show where contestants are asked personal questions while hooked up to a polygraph.  The detector works so well, show producers wouldn't get on it to answer the question, "Is this show good?"

Oprah will join Barack Obama on the campaign trail, visiting Iowa, New Hampshire and SC.  Which is odd because to be given the presidency by Oprah, you usually have to make it into her "My Favorite Things" studio audience.

Earth friendly Toyota Prius hybrid cars are failing Georgia emissions tests.  The testing software is incompatible with the Prius.  Which makes many consumers suspicious the Prius uses Microsoft's new Vista operating system.

Iran said it's manufactured a new missile with a range capable of hitting Israel and US bases in the Mideast.  But said they're merely for energy purposes.

Dick Cheney was back at work after doctors administered an electrical shock to his heart and restored it to a normal rhythm.  Doctors say he can resume his normal work schedule but crushed Cheney's dream of being a contestant on Dancing with the Stars.

Al Gore finally visited the Oval Office and his old rival George W. Bush in his capacity as a Nobel Prize winner.  The only other way to visit the oval office and the president is to win a sports championship like the Super Bowl, which Gore also claims to have done.

A Rhode Island Hospital was fined $50,000 after its third instance this year of a doctor performing brain surgery in the wrong side of a patient's head.  An official reprimand said the hospital surgeons need to get their heads straight, then they wrote LOL a lot after that sentence.

Sen. Edward Kennedy has a deal with a publisher to write his memoirs.  The book is entitled, "If I Could Only Remember."

A teenager who flew secretly to the Middle East last year to be with a man she met on MySpace went on Dr. Phil to end the relationship.  It was not until after the show the teen was told all she had to do was delete him from her MySpace friends list.

NBC agreed to start offering interactive advertising from TiVo.  NBC will place the ads, and the interactive part will be when viewers skip them.

A California county will soon start a system to purify sewage into drinking water.  Proponents say the finished product exceeds drinking water standards...as judged by cats and dogs who regularly drink from toilets.

Michael Vick faces an April 2 trial date on state dogfighting charges in Virginia.  Vick reported to prison last week to start his federal sentence.  The former number 7 is now 7938479-6.

Trying to stay open, the Grady hospital board voted unanimously to hand over most of its authority to a new management board, provided they get a half-billion dollars from the state, business community and others, which many see as unlikely.  Anxious developers are already looking at the building and making plans to sell both private and semi-private condos.

An Augusta man walked into a SC bank and tried to open an account using a fake $1 million bill.  The federal government has in fact, never printed a million-dollar bill.  And even if they had, it's doubtful TI's picture would be on it.

OJ pleaded "not guilty" on charges of kidnapping and armed robbery of 2 sports memorabilia dealers.  His lawyer tried to get things off on a familiar note by telling the judge, "Without a certificate of authenticity there is no complicity."

Sudan charged a British teacher with inciting religious hatred after she let students name a teddy bear Muhammad, an offense that could get her 40 lashes.  She said she didn't realize that's what would happen when she got it at the Build-a-Religiously-Intolerant Bear store at the mall.

The government reports US adult obesity rates seem to have leveled off, at least temporarily.  Authorities say this is because everyone finally got too big to leave their house to get more snacks.

According to a reading test, US fourth-graders have lost ground in reading ability compared to kids around the world.  Students defended themselves by saying the test was not fair because there weren't enough pictures.

Race car driver Helio Castroneves is the winner of "Dancing With the Stars."  However Helio would not be convinced he'd won until host Tom Bergeron waved a checkered flag in front of his face.

Right before his death, Evel Knievel and Kanye West settled a lawsuit over the use of Knievel's trademarked image in a West music video.  They agreed not to publicly discuss terms of the settlement.  Although rumor has it Kanye was going to allow Knievel to jump his bling.

©2007, The Stiles Company, LLC