Headlines the Way the Media Really Wishes They Could Report It for Saturday, October 25, 2008:
Genetic Researchers Reveal John McCain Shares 99% of George W. Bush's DNA.
Jerry Lewis Makes Anti-Gay Slur…Is Voting for John McCain.
Isaiah Thomas Denies Overdose Reports, Says He Could Never Afford It Without Obama Health Plan.
Democrats Chances So Strong of Taking All Seats in Both Houses of US Congress, Now Eyeing Canada.
Obama Leaves Hawaii and Ailing Grandmother, Now 100% Healed.
7 Orcas Missing From Puget Sound, Assumed Shot By NRA Members.
High School Musical 3 Opens Strong, First Weekend Proceeds Go to Teachers' Union.