... is to be good to myself in order to help others in the future.

i realize how much easier it is said than done. it's so easy to say, "help yourself before you help others." actually doing such a thing? almost impossible. how can i possibly care about... myself? or worse... only myself?

it is so hard when you constantly have people around you breathing down your neck - and i'm sure some of you can relate. just when you want to break free from them for even just an hour or two, they come chasing after you - giving you guilt trips about how selfish you are or how you make them dysfunctional...

the truth is, however, no one can make anyone dysfunctional. ultimately, it's how you deal with it. i will smile through any storms that life casts upon me - in the end, i will always be okay. you? you use me as a scapegoat to blame for all the misery that you have caused for yourself. i refuse to scapegoat anyone because i am ultimately at fault for being affected by any situation at all.

so i will break free now. in reality, this slight separation will last much longer than just an hour or two, but in a few years, this time of separation will seem even shorter. this separation will only be a memory - a bittersweet memory which resulted in an even stronger relationship than the one we had before.

thank you for understanding.

love,
o