I gave you fertile ground; you just coated it with pavement
I gave you the animals; you poached them to endangerment
I carried you for eons; you complained of same-old same-old
I gave you rainbows; you complained that it rained, though

I gave you water; you said it tasted like nothing
That hurt my feelings; I cried; you complained it was flooding
I gave you seven natural wonders; you said, "Why not eight?"
I told you to settle down with a nice girl; you said, "Why not eight?"

But I never stopped loving you, because that's not what mother's do
I just let you do what you do so that I wouldn't smother you
But then, inevitably, thee met she:
Miss Chlorofluorocarbon: CFC

She had an air about her that left my house green
Entered my atmosphere without wiping her feet
As if that weren't enough, she wasn't alone; she rolled with crew
Her cousins: water vapor, nitrous oxide, CO2

Now, water vapor wets the bed; nitrous oxide's always laughing
CO2 ain't got no job; she got laid off from manufacturing
And I don't want to call Miss CFC a thief; that's not quite fair
But I can't find my glaciers; could have sworn they were just right there..

Oh, what bitchcraft did these witches weave to turn son against his mother?
Now Christmas just ain't Christmas, for it burns as if it's summer
You thought CFC was so sweet sexy; she opened up your nose, Holmes
Seduced you with her chloroform, and kept you in the "Oh!" zone

And then you had a threesome with CO2 and H2O
Who had those bastard kids for you: Katrina, Rita, Hugo
They run around and make a mess; embarrass you in public
Your child support payments equal out to FEMA's budget

And I, your mother, Earth, try to stay calm, show no emotion
As the home I built for you succumbs to coastal erosion
Could have told you, had you asked, not to wife that CFC slut
She took half of everything you owned; you should have got a pre-nup

But I never stopped loving you, because that's not what mothers do
Even when them greenhouse gases passed and damn near smothered you
I'll give you all I've got 'til all I've got is not enough for you
Even if you give up on me, I'll never give up on you.

copyright 2009 Drew Anderson