... again.

Fuck, that's a great song.

[Here, folks, I interrupt the flow of this message to inform you that this is an otherwise unedited copy of a message I just sent to Big Chris Gates (formerly of The Big Boys, etc.) about my response to his recent music, especially "Being The Man Of My Dreams." I share it with you, including asides to previous and here-unseen messages I sent him, so you may take any insight you receive based on how the song effects me and turn it into motivation to at least listen to it. Add friend him, write your own messages, buy a CD-- whatever you do, I'm just saying this is another outstanding instance of a musician deserving of greater appreciation. His profile is http://www.myspace.com/bigchrisgates OK? - Bill]

I don't know, with all the nudge-wink bullshit I've written you, whether I've communicated well, or at all, just how much respect I have for your songwriting.

I've taken liberties, acted like you're an old pal, instead of someone making the sacrifices to put your music out there. And I took as a kind of permission to be playful what you said about how you were cool about gay folks.

And I just can't get over ... let me backtrack.

there's another gay man I know, in fact he's the one I mentioned was into the Big Boys and The Dicks and all kinds of other punk bands and other music. (He also in fact introduced me to Franti and to Free, the musicians I mentioned in my last message.) So I kind of think he has, indirectly, introduced me to your solo career as well. And he impressed more than a few ideas on me that clarified some thoughts I'd held myself before we got to talking about music and gay culture. One of them was how there are all these songs, if you approach them from who we are, as gay men, that sound like gay men *should* have written them, but str8 men did. And we bemoaned that fact. From Springsteen's "Backstreets" to any number of Bouncing Souls songs, we'd just shake are heads and think about their lyrics about deep, soulful man-to-man brotherhood (if that's not the best word, it's the best we could come up with), and insight to the male psyche. And we just wonder and wonder and wonder why gay men weren't writing those songs.

I share that with you because "BTMOMD" is a song like that, a song that gives that deep *thing* -- wouldn't call it a "need" exactly, but whatever it is, it's only fulfilled by proxy. I know literally hundreds of out gay musicians, and the few that even approach "Being The Man Of My Dreams"'s not-fully-definable capture of something right about men, and something real about men: Bob Mould, Scott Free, Brady Earnhart ... the list gets sparse real quick ...

I guess all I'm trying to say is I listen and listen and listen, I dedicate hours and hours to keeping an open mind and poking my ears in unlikely corners, because every so often I hear gems lurking in the darkness. And I'm racked so by the truth of BTMOMD. It's one of those songs which truly makes the patient search for songs that lay a man's heart plainly before the world worth it.

"Thanks" isn't expressive enough. I must have realized that when last I wrote, but tried to hide it behind stuff that didn't matter. (It didn't work, just as much as what you wrote last time: "honest music cuts through all that anyway" describes what *does* work.)

so I just wanted to clear that up for you (or maybe just for me). Your other songs are consistently good, too; I'm just fastened to that one for now.

and one last thing: I suppose you have a fuller arrangement imagined for a studio recording of that "demo" of BTMOMD. I don't mean to try to deny you your vision for the song. I'm just deeply into the current version. (Obviously.) Would you consider releasing the demo as well? When I listen to it, a good deal of what works for me is the delivery as-is, just perfect as it is.
(and that's not a man-crush or my imagination talking; that's my honest response to the music.)

Thanks for reading me, verbosely specifying things that are likely crystal clear without explanations.

Be well,
Bill