I am always taken aback when I read that yet another Hollywood luminary has decided to travel to the other side of the world to adopt a child. The reasons vary from being unable to have children themselves, to just wanting another child. Whatever the reasons are, it is my opinion that these people need to STOP, like NOW, because even as there are a lot of kids in other places in the world who need families, there are lots here in the states who need homes. The reason of "but I wanted an infant" ring hollow with some, because a child is a child is a child, and from my own experiences, the most important thing that any child needs is the love and caring of a fit and loving parent.

I don't know the numbers, but based on web research and numbers posted, there are thousands- perhaps hundreds of thousands- of available children for adoption just here in Los Angeles County alone. The last time I checked, Hollywood is located in Los Angeles County, and lots of our Hollywood luminaries live and work in that area, and the one question I would like to have the answer to, the one question that evades an answer is why are you people not adopting these perfectly good, perfectly adoptable, perfectly healthy American kids? You might assume that it is because there would be too much media attention, or maybe it is the red tape that any of us would have to endure. This leads me to my next point, my next probably wrong assumption as to why it is that celebrities do not adopt here.

-There is too much paperwork, too much digging in someone's past, for a celebrity to have to do. They probably don't want to deal with all the paperwork, and though I can see the reasons (because paperwork is a pain in the okole), when the call of mothering screams silently into your psyche, paperwork should be a secondary worry.

-There is too much media to deal with.
 Oh YEAH? If you are a celebrity, you should already be able to deal with the notoriety. Heck, adopting a kid from the states may be the thing that would change the minds of the inquiring public. If Courtney Love decided that she was going to adopt an American born child, I am not going to go so far as to tell you that the kid would be in good hands, but I will say that whatever horrid thing was said in the press thus far would be somewhat a lot less ugly. I mean, come on -she is a great mother, or so we think, because rarely do we hear anything about her kid, Francis, in the news. Ms. Love has managed to keep her daughter out of the public eye. Good job, you psychotic weirdo!

-It costs less to adopt from other countries.
 This is ridiculous. I have nothing to say about this.

I don't want to pick on those who have the money to fly to another country and pick out a child like one picks out a dog at the local ASPCA. I am probably wrong even in assuming much of what I have already written about this.

Many children in our midst end up spending their entire childhood "in the system." this is a sad and terrible truth about the state of things as they are for our own kids here in the states. I made a promise to myself a long time ago, and that is that if I should ever be able to adopt a child, ever have the finances, a big enough home, a large enough yard to house four kids, I would not bother with a baby. I have birthed three of them, and though those are memories that I would not let go of if I were paid to, the truth is that I could not do it again. It is too much work, and frankly, I cannot change another diaper that will remain in my house for the next 18 years. I put some thought into it. I have seen the faces of homeless children. They look a lot like the homeless adults. The good thing about these kids, though, is that they still have their imaginations, and they are still children. There is still time for someone to come along and change the picture of their lives as they know it.

If ever you should have the unique opportunity to adopt a child, think first about your own reasons for wanting to be a parent, because parenting is not a choice that should be made overnight, never lightly, and always with the child in mind first, even as you have not yet seen the child that will be yours.

Children need love, even older children. Children who have been placed in the foster care system have been through a lot, have seen more than we as adults have, and it is this particular group of kids who need an adult in their lives the most. Once these kids turn 18, they are out on their okoles. In recent years there have been programs put into place that readies these kids for the mechanics of adulthood. Yet, these lessons are not the ones that should be the most important.
Above all, children need to feel loved, to feel valued, and there is only so much that the county is willing to do for them, only so much that can be done.

The rest is up to those who would like to become parents, but for reasons out of their own control, or perhaps even reasons that seem superficial, they cannot.

If you have the room in your house, in your heart, in your life, and the call to parent is nagging at your soul, adopt a child from this country. An infant is nice, but a child needs a good, loving home, and because there are a lot of children in the system as it is who are in search and in need of a good loving home, there should be no issues as to what it is that needs to be done.

People have reasons for wanting an infant. I guess I can understand this, but there are many more reasons why thinking that maybe an older child might not be such a bad thing after all.

I mean, you know, when you were a kid, what was it that you wanted, that would have made the difference between a parent now and your parents back then?

I guess that my main point is that if you have the thought to adopt, then this must mean that you have the love in your heart, and raising a child from infancy is nice, wonderful even, but I would assume that being 3 years old, or 12 years old, or 14 years old, and after having gone through everything that you have gone through, after calling several different women "mama" and being part of the lives of kids just like yourself is ok, because you had that small benefit as a kid. You had parents.

Yet, I am sure that there is nothing greater than the love of a parent whose only goal in life is to be there for a child they can call their own, and by the looks of it, right here on our soil you can have your choice...

Love. Live. Share.
Give your heart and a home to a kid right here at home.
You will live to never regret it...

MAPU