So...I'm trying to start dating, but my work/school/social lives don't really put me in a position to meet the sort of man that interests me. Nor am I particularly intrigued by "cold-call" emails I get from folks who have checked out my profile here or on other social networking sites just because I happen to be online (e.g., "How are you this evening?").

Now, I've ventured into the world of cyberdating before, which led to a decent amount of self-contemplation, a moderate amount of online entertainment, some nice ego boosting, and the rare interesting conversation, but next to nothing in the way of real-world progress.

In my previous effort, I checked out the mainstream sites like eHarmony and Match. I was rejected by eHamrony because I'm an outlier on their bell curve (which I take as a compliment identifying me as extraordinary in the truest sense of the word). Match was very sleek and professional with not a huge amount of fuss, but I didn't want to pay them. I cheated the system and clued other users into how they could find me, but few cracked my code or, perhaps, few made the effort.

I guess not being willing to pay was (and is) my biggest stumbling block. But, hey, I'm not exactly rolling in discretionary income! Sorry, boys, my mortgage comes first.

So, friends introduced me to OKCupid and Plenty of Fish (POF). If you prefer a polished aesthetic, lots of quizzes, or a fervent community, I recommend OKCupid. If you prefer simplicity and less commercialism, I recommend POF. Also, at last use, I prefer POF because it let's you see who's checking you out and who's reading (and deleting) your messages.

These were good options, but my particular preferences made using them feel like searching for a needle in a hay stack. Lucky for me, another friend had similar interests. She turned me onto TangoWire's niche dating services, and I found the perfect site. Unfortunately, they didn't like that I mentioned one of my local hangouts, so I was banned from the site. I tried to get around the prohibition, but I didn't like compromising my sales pitch, so I gave up for a bit.

Now, returning to the fray, I begin my investigation for a good site anew. Just for kicks, I'm going to keep track of my findings here. -j (4/21/09)

Interracial Singles (www.interracialsingles.net) - I fired them on April 18, 2009 because they require users to pay to exchange emails. I sent them the following to explain my departure: I don't like that I have to pay to see emails from or to chat with paying members. If I were to become a paying customer, I'd like to know that I had the opportunity to connect with all guests not just those with discretionary income or those who have decided yours is the site for them. I don't want to miss out on an opportunity because a non-paying member can't read my email or truly respond to my interest.