"Today we gather to celebrate the life of humanity's greatest friend, mentor and motivator. Today we gather to mourn the loss of inspiration, originality, and inventiveness. Though time heals all wounds, we must not deny the sorrow that the death of Imagination will bring into our lives. Surely, we will long for the days of art, music, science, and acting. Expressions of the tiny spark of God that lives in each of us. But take comfort, you who are bereaved. For the cold glow of televised professional sports and the warm glow of fast food neon lights will fill your souls with the slack jawed ease of modern life. In place of visionaries we will embrace the hollow. Instead of genius we will breed contempt. We will become a nation of shamelessly opportunistc capitalistic war mongers. So farewell Imagination. May you rest in peace while our special guest funeral director, Will Farrel cops a squat and shits on your grave and Fallout Boy plays the Star Spangled Banner. Farewell....."