Hey it's the first snow of the year; well the first snow that actually turned the street, trees, and brick buildings all white.

Someone asked me what it's like to be on stage. I will post that soon.

In the meantime, here are 100 Great Lies of Rock, I collected from dressing room walls, over heard backstage or in the van, bus, hotel lobby...

Send me any I've missed...

100 GREAT LIES OF ROCK 'N ROLL

from The Musician's Guide to the Road, by Susan Voelz

1. You won't have any trouble finding the place
.
2. You can't miss it. We're right up on the corner.

3. Traffic will open up after the tolls.

4. Don't worry, there's lots of parking.

5. The hotel is right by the club.

6. Rooming lists and keys will be waiting for you at the front desk.

7. The rooms will be ready soon.

8. Yes there is a place to park your bus.

9. Yes, there are showers at the venue.

10. I'm on the other line.

11. I'll call you right back.

12. I think I've got another call - I better take this one.

13. My cell is about to go down.

14. We'll have flyers printed and plastered everywhere.

15. Tour manager? Looking for him myself.

16. Someone will be there early to let you in.

17. You'll have plenty of time for a sound check.

18. We can fix it in the mix.

19. It'll sound better with people in here.

20. It's the sub woofers.

21. You can share backline with the other bands.

22. My girlfriend is pro at running lights.

23. Sounds great out front.

24. I checked it myself.

25. We're doing all we can.

26. We fixed it after sound check.

27. I'm sure it will work.

28. Worked the last time I used it.

29. It was working until you got here.

30. That buzz is normal.

31. I haven't worked here long, but it'll be fine.

32. Stage mix sounds just like the house mix.

33. We'll let you know.

34. The band drinks free.

35. Dinner provided promptly at 5 PM.

36. We'll definitely check you guys out tonight.

37. You'll headline.

38. Sure you'll get paid if it rains.

39. Your tickets are at the door.

40. Lots of industry here tonight.

41. It's all about people needing people, baby, people needing people.

42. Sounds in tune to me.

43. Of course your mic was on.

44. It won't affect the performance.

45. We'll turn down if it's too loud.

46. I'm with the band.

47. I think this marks a turning point.

48. She'll be backstage after the show.

49. Loved your band!

50. I caught your last song.

51. Oh yeah, I saw the whole show.

52. I tried to come to your show.

53. Here's your split; there'll be more once we settle everything.

54. My agent will take care of it.

55. I like your new direction.

56. I really loved the band.

57. This is one of Jimi's old strats.

58. Light crowd; last episode of --insert any TV show here-- tonight.

59. Light crowd; well, school is out.

60. Light crowd; well, school just started.

61. We're going into the studio next month.

62. I love you.

63. Your marriage was on the rocks before you joined the band.

64. The place was packed.

65. It's a late town.

66. Well it looked crowded, but you're just short of points.

67. We'll just have one beer.

68. I think the crowd loved it.

69. Julia Roberts, Keifer Sutherland, and that guy who looks like Ethan Hawke were here.

70. Sure I'll sign it. Let me go get a sharpie.

71. I have no idea where the hotel is, darlin'.

72. I didn't know she was your sister.

73. I didn't know she was your girlfriend.

74. I didn't know she was a man.

75. Yeah, they're all roadies. Let 'em in.

76. My address book was stolen right after I met you.

77. Believe me.

78. I remember that song.

79. Rock 'n roll keeps you young and kills you early.

80. Really good coke.

81. My last band had a record deal but we broke up before recording the album.

82. I'm really glad to be off the road.

83. He left to have a solo career.

84. Yeah, he cleaned up. He got off the road and cleaned up.

85. Oh have some; it's good!

86. You remind me of someone I used to go out with.

87. I think we've seen the last of that.

88. Yeah, see you at the after party...

89. Well, what I heard was...(anything that follows is a great big lie)

90. We're all still friends. We had musical differences.

91. We're right behind you.

92. We'll meet you there.

93. Our crew would never do anything like that.

94. Yes, it's in the truck.

95. Yeah, my friends on the rugby team will be there at 2 AM to help you load out.

96. Yeah, we've got loaders.

97. I put it in the van.

98. I didn't forget; I thought you were kidding.

99. I'm cool, no problem.

101. It's all good.

102. I'm from New Orleans.

103. They have great breakfast.

104. Plenty of places to eat around here.

105. She asked me to.

106. I was just trying to be nice.