So. . . It has been a while since I posted a MySpace blog.   Here it goes.  Just a reminder of my blogging existence, I guess.

(Will be x-posted on girlrudie.livejournal.com)

Today, December 19, 2008, was fun.  I went to school, I cut all but one class.  Yes.  I basically spent the whole school day with Jesse Sutherland.  Oh, you know.  My boyfriend.  His friend brought a Nintendo Wii to school. Geeks playin' Smash Bros. Brawl.  Including Jesse. 

But, this really has nothing to do with my blog.  I am trying to get at, well. . PDA.
Public Display of Affection.  'Cause we were totally making out with all those people around us.  People in front of us, left and right of us, and super obese chicks behind us.  Usually, I am a fairly private person.  I am, but I do not really know, it all just kind of happened, you know?  I really did not mind either actually.  However, I wonder what people thought.  At the same time, I don't really give a shit - I do what I want.  Seriously, it was enjoyable.  In other cultures, it's not only rude, it's offensive.  I am one to respect that, but hey.  We're here.  Not there.  We were at De Anza.
Does this sound a bit, weird?: I kind of thought it was hot people were watching!  I think it's a bit unusual, since I don't like attention, or being stared at in any way. Maybe, some where in my conscience, I do like the attention.  Someone, tell me.

I feeling more and more like myself everyday.  Over and over again, I hear I am not approachable.   Which, I could understand.  I am usually by myself.  Headphones on, have piercings, oh and my plain face isn't all smiley.  However, now, I am all giggly in the cafeteria.   Also in the classroom talking with people. 

I am also losing weight.  I lost about fifteen pounds since October. I am really trying to control my sugar, it's difficult.  I am pretty disappointed in myself, I ate a lot of sweets today.  It's scary. . .You know, I mean, I'm trying, but it won't go down. At the same time, I'm not that worried. . . yet.  I know, tomorrow, I won't lose a foot or go blind.  However, I am trying to deal with this diabetes situation now.  People ask me how I lost the weight without drastic exercise. Let me tell you.   I stopped drinking soda, stopped eating a bunch of sweets (with the exception of today), cut my portions down, and I am happy.

So, so happy.  I still have a hard time -family wise.  Like, I really wish my mom would get it by now, that gambling basically made life for everyone in her family disdainful.  My dad should know he shouldn't blame us for how everything and everyone turned out.  It's frustrating.  Let's be optimstic here.  They'll get it eventually.  Yet, it's alright.  I have my friends, my boyfriend, pencil and paper, and myself.  All's good.